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caffeinewitchcraft · 2 months ago

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AITA for divorcing my vampire husband because he lied to me about his human job?

I (542 vampire) and my husband (260 vampire) have been together for a little over two centuries. There’s a saying in the vampiric community that it takes a century for a tryst to become an enduring partnership and another century to become soulmates. I thought that was true and that Matthew (using his real name because fuck you, Matthew) and I would be together forever…until this week.

First, let me explain a few things to the mortals here. I don’t mean that negatively – I came here specifically to get the opinion of those with a finite lifespan. However, I want to be fair to Matthew as much as possible and some of his decisions are very immortal-minded.

Both Matthew and I are vampires who have chosen to forsake some of our powers in exchange for the ability to daywalk. We made the transition together on our 100th anniversary almost 115 years ago. It wasn’t an easy transition for me. I was very dependent on human blood and I spent the first twenty years in almost constant sleep as my body adjusted to running off of less lunar magic and more solar magic.

It really felt like I was losing everything. My body got physically weaker and my powers began to disappear one by one. It felt like every time I woke, another part of me was missing. One day I could turn into a wolf, the next I could barely turn into a vapor. I could command a legion of undying servants, and then I could barely convince the mailman he didn’t see me levitate down from the second floor.

Matthew, however, took to daywalking like a werewolf to a sheep farm. He barely seemed to feel the pain of losing his power, maybe because he was so much younger than me. Whatever the case, he was out all the time once he stabilized. He would be gone for days sometimes and when he came back it was with fantastic stories about the humans’ new inventions or the new structures being built in whatever town we were in.

I’m not saying I regret transitioning. Just that Matthew and I had very different experiences. It felt like he barely changed at all while my entire being got rewritten. Being immortal makes you comfortable in your own skin. I never doubted myself or my power after I turned 100. But becoming a daywalker made me feel like I was being born as a human again. It was humiliating and vulnerable. I have to admit there were times I resented how easily Matthew did it. I blamed him for not supporting me like I thought he should. I would daydream about draining a human in front of him, showing him what I thought of his fascination with them. I had all sorts of vile and vengeful thoughts. I’m not proud of the person I was and now I’m grateful Matthew wasn’t there to see the lows I sunk to.

Despite all my awful thoughts, I didn’t quit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. I stuck with it and, day by day, things got easier.

After 26 years I began to stabilize. The benefits of being a daywalker slowly blossomed before me. Now I can say that I am completely happy with my daywalker status and all the changes it’s brought.

I am the most mentally stable I have been since my Turning in 1482. It’s like I’m awake. The fits of rage that used to consume me for months at a time have completely disappeared. I don’t experience the same level of obsession I used to which has freed up a lot of my time that I used to spend stalking my victims.

However, that drastic of a change would be challenging in any relationship. Matthew and I ended up together because of my obsessive nature. Our relationship became strained when that part of me went dormant. He expected me to follow his immersion into the human world just as I had followed him in his revenge quest against his Master. He expected me to support him wholeheartedly and with everything I was. He wanted sacrifices from me that I used to not even flinch at before making. But something was just…different. We wanted different things. I wanted different things.

Matthew was obsessed with being the perfect human. He craved full immersion. He still makes it a point to get a human job every twenty years or so. Me? I’m happy to live off our investments and some mild mind control while enjoying the art and theater community the humans have evolved.

It got bad. Some years, we spent like ghosts in our own house, drifting by each other without a glance. Other years, it was like we were spies behind enemy lines. He would do whatever he could to thwart me and I would go out of my way to ridicule him. Our vitriol poisoned the earth. Matthew didn’t speak to me for a full decade when that poison killed off an entire town.

About twenty years ago, it all came to a head. We had a serious sit-down talk about our relationship. It wasn’t easy. What they say about teaching an old dog new tricks is sometimes true. Matthew wanted me to be as involved with the humans as he was. He wanted me to care about them like he did. I wanted him to travel with me like we used to and not just hop from town to neighboring town (which he did to maintain a human identity with references so he could keep working). When it became clear that we were at an impasse, I brought up the idea of separation.

Separating in the vampiric world isn’t easy. There are a lot of alliances and blood oaths to be considered. Over the two centuries we spent together, we became known as a unit to a number of supernatural entities that we maintain an uneasy truce with. Separating would mean creating new oaths and alliances with the same individuals. And there was no guarantee that those individuals would make new pacts with both of you. A LOT of vampire couples end up in blood feuds while separating. Neither of us wanted that.

There was also, of course, the emotional side of things. While a lot of immortals tend to only feel muted emotions (especially vampires as old as me), Daywalking had made both of us more sensitive than we’d been before. We were both attached to the memories we shared and neither of us could imagine life without the other. After 200 years together, it felt like Matthew was my right arm, and I his. When I brought up separation, we both felt it like we were discussing an amputation.

After about a year of talking, we finally reached an agreement. We didn’t want to separate, and so we would compromise. I wouldn’t interfere with any of Matthew’s human jobs for the 15-17 years if he could hold them without arousing suspicion. In exchange, he would take a year off to go traveling with me before finding another town for us to live in. In between my trips, he would go to plays and galas with me to enjoy human artistry at least once a month.

Maybe our deal was in his favor. At the time, it felt practical and fair. A year of traveling wouldn’t undo Matthew’s string of connections. We would still see each other frequently by going on dates that I liked. Matthew would get to stay immersed in the human world at the level he wanted, and I could stay within my comfort zone.

Which brings me to my current problem.

We are currently at the start of one of Matthew’s work cycles. He’s been everything from a fireman to a politician to a subway worker to a barista. He craves knowledge and connection to a terrifying degree. If it weren’t for how we move every 20 years and he goes without protest, I’d call it obsession.

This cycle, Matthew told me he was going to be a teacher. I was hesitant. While the humans have become more tolerant and less violent over the years, that doesn’t mean they will tolerate us near their young. Enough humans know about vampires that staking in the modern era is a real possibility. Matthew could incite an angry mob against us or, heaven forbid, get a vampire hunter on our tail. I have yet to be shot, but I hear that they have silver bullets that hurt like Hell.

When I voiced my protests, Matthew reminded me about our agreement. He said that I wouldn’t interfere with his jobs and he’d go to all the plays I liked. He even pointed out that, as a teacher, he could get us into high school plays and expositions. I was uneasy, but agreements are penultimate to immortals. I silenced my objections and let him get a job as a science teacher at a local high school.

When Michael has had jobs in the past, I’ve never really paid attention. One time he was a state senator for ten years and I never even heard him speak. I didn’t consider it worth my time to hear whatever his facsimile of a human would say. Real humanity is in the art they create, not in the parody Michael enacts.

But this one…I couldn’t ignore this one. Maybe it was because I was still uneasy about his proximity to human young or maybe I could sense his lies even at the beginning. Whatever the case, I watched him.

The first thing I noticed was the hours. He would go to work early and would often come home when it was time for us to sleep. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn’t used to grading and that he had underestimated what it took to put a good lesson plan together. I visited some online forums and that’s apparently reasonable for first year teachers.

He would also sometimes go in on the weekends. He missed one of our dates because there was a “grading emergency” that needed his immediate attention. Something about a student’s test getting lost and then found and he needed to input their grade before the deadline which was on Saturday. Humans like silly rules like that so I didn’t even look that one up. I just reminded him that he couldn’t miss our dates again or else he was breaking our deal. He apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again.

Then about three months into his new job, the phone calls started. We have a private room in our house for when we need to talk without any visitors overhearing. Michael moved all his school supplies in there, saying that he needed a silent space to concentrate on his grading. Whenever he got a call, he would never answer it in front of me. Instead, he’d say “Sorry, work” and just go into his office.

I also noticed that he didn’t dress very professionally. Human fashion changes quickly so it didn’t register at first. A sweatshirt here and there slipped past me, and also the Gucci slides. When he started wearing baggy jeans and jerseys to work, I noticed. I may not be up to date on all the newest fashions, but I do go to classy events. I know what a slob looks like and it didn’t sit right with me that he was wearing that to school. When I asked him about it, he always had an excuse. “This is what everyone wears” and “It’s a theme day” or, bafflingly, “It’s spirit week!”

I tried to leave it alone. The reason we have stayed together for so long is because of our agreement to not interfere in each other’s lives. But between his hours, the phone calls, and his appearance, something didn’t add up.

Then, last Thursday, he missed another one of our dates. We were supposed to go to the Nutcracker together. Even though I prefer matinees (when the cast is fresh), I agreed to get us tickets for the evening show so that he wouldn’t have to leave work early. When he wasn’t there at 7pm, I called him and he didn’t answer. Then, when I called him again, his phone was switched off.

I was furious. I spend nearly two decades in these tiny towns so he can live his human fantasy and he can’t even show up for one two hour show? It was the first time since becoming a daywalker that I felt that angry. I was scared about what I might do, so I made myself go home to wait for him.

Only, he never came home that night. At 3am, he sent me a text apologizing and promising to make up our date on Saturday. But the Nutcracker was only playing until Friday and that would be too little, too late. To be honest, it already was. I texted him that and he never responded.

He never ended up coming home last weekend. I texted and called him probably a dozen times and he never responded. I got angrier and angrier as the days dragged by. Did he think I was someone to be taken lightly? Did he not realize that the fragile agreement between us was all that was keeping us from separation?

Yesterday (Monday), I couldn’t take it anymore. If he wasn’t going to come home or respond to my messages, then I would go to him. If he was so obsessed with this new job that he would ignore me for it, then I knew exactly where to find him.

I arrived at his school at 10am. I researched enough to know how to go to the office and sign myself in. I asked the office assistant which room Mr. Duetto was in.

The lovely young woman looked confused. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out to anyone but family,” she said.

“I am his only family,” I said.

She clicked a few more keys and looked more confused. “His paperwork only shows his mother, Delilah Duetto.”

That’s right. His mother. But I still didn’t understand then.

“That’s me,” I said.

“You are not the mother of 17-year-old.”

“I’m his wife,” I said.

She was upset by that. I won’t bore you with every detail, but I had to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call the police. I may not look like someone who has a teenager, but I also don’t look like a teenager. I ended up having to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call human CPS on an apparent adult swearing she was married to a minor.

I went home and broke into his office. There weren’t any lesson plans. There were no graded papers. There were syllabus from different classes, homework with his name on it, and a few polaroids taped to the bottom of his desk of him at a party with children.

Human children. I don’t honestly know which is worse.

(EDIT: I know the child part is the worst part. I misspoke because of my anger. It’s not the humans’ fault that my husband is a pervert.)

I broke into his laptop and used that to check his text messages. He’s been texting like a high schooler. He’s been to parties with them, listened to their problems and even fabricated a few of his own. He’s caught in some sort of weird love triangle where a freshman girl likes him but his “best friend” likes her. He has texted both of them about it, promising his “bro” that nothing is happening and then turning around and leading this girl-child on.

Some choice quotes: I should know better than to get close with you. You and I come from very different worlds

To which she replied, lol maybe we should let our worlds collide

!!!!

I find the entire situation disgusting. Matthew is several centuries older than them and he definitely knows better. He’s literally wearing the sheep’s fleece amongst the flock. He has no business forming relationships with human children and even less pretending to be one of them. He’s not a baby. He is over two centuries old!

What is he doing flirting with a child? It’s vile and disgusting and I was set to kill him for it.

I confronted him about it when he came home last night. I told him that he was sick and dangerous and if he loved humans then he needed to stop immediately. I told him we either left town today or I would make sure he never set foot back in that school in a way he really wouldn’t like.

He threw a huge tantrum over my invading his privacy. He shouted at me that I had broken my promise to never interfere in his job. He called me controlling and crazy.

I told him he was the crazy one for chatting up a child. He told me he wasn’t, she was just his friend. I asked him to read their texts out loud if he was being so friendly. I also pointed out that there was no way a 260-year-old vampire is a child’s friend.

He told me I was a hypocrite because I basically cradle robbed him (we’re almost 300 years apart.) He said if anyone was disgusting, it was me for taking advantage of him.

I pointed out that he wasn’t a child, he was over 60 and had already been a vampire for four decades. He argued that that was basically being a child in vampire terms.

I was so angry at that point that the house was shaking. I told him if he felt that way, then we could get divorced right then and there. That that was what I wanted to do anyway because I couldn’t be married to a pedophile.

He asked me if I was seriously going to start a blood feud over him immersing himself in human society. I said no, I’m starting a blood feud because he’s become every predatory stereotype humans have of vampires.

He called me a hypocrite again and told me he was leaving. He said not to call him unless I was ready to apologize. I told him that the next time he sees me, he’d better run before I showed him the real difference between us. And it wasn’t just 300 years.

When I calmed down, doubt started creeping in. From an immortal perspective, what he’s doing isn’t really wrong. I hate to say it, but most immortals don’t view human lives as significant. I know a few vampires who would say that divorcing because he’s playing with his food is idiotic.

Plus, there’s the agreement to consider. During our fight, Matthew pointed out that being a student is a job to humans. So therefore I didn’t have the right to interfere. A big part of me thinks that’s bullshit, but a small part of me wonders if he’s maybe right about that?

I also have to ask myself why this even bothers me. I’m the one in the relationship that is aloof from humans. I’m the one that’s always saying we are from different worlds (Yeah, he stole that from me) and for good reason.

But over the years, I’ve become fond of humans. No immortal makes art like them. I may not remember my time as a mortal, but there are works that give me a sense of nostalgia. Sometimes I think I can remember being a child myself, standing in a field like in Monet painting, staring at the wheatstacks and waiting for the miller to come.

The thought of Matthew playing with them makes me sick. It’s like even after all the years of him living amongst them, he thinks of them as props in his twisted play. It’s even worse that he’s doing this to children.

I can’t help but think something went really wrong with my husband when I wasn’t looking. At the very least, I’m planning on divorcing him. But would I be the asshole if I killed him too?

Separating from him will be violent and messy. There will likely be human casualties. But I don’t see any other way. So, I ask.

AITA for divorcing my husband for lying to me about his human job?

----

Thanks for reading! I loved answering some of the responses I got when I first posted this over on my Patreon (X)!

These collaborative story telling pieces are the highlight of my week. Next week's story is about a witch who wants to know if she should attend her high school reunion even though she's responsible for stripping two former classmates of their magic...

Please check that out here (X) if you''d like early access! Otherwise I'll see y'all next week :)

#my writing #long post #parody #aita parody #reddit #vampires #aita reddit parody

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dreamsteddie · 3 months ago

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Eddie gets legitimately upset as the years and decades pass and Steve just keeps getting hotter to him.

Steve at 25 getting fitted with his first pair of glasses causes 26 year old Eddie to miss the bottom step of the stairs in their first apartment.

Steve in his early 30s whose body is starting to show evidence that his metabolism is no longer that of a 20 year old in their prime. He has a soft middle covered in hair and a slightly softer jawline. The image of Steve coming out of the shower to join him in bed makes him want to chew on his own fingers.

Steve at 40 with grey hairs showing up along his temples that unlock an affinity for the Older Man look Eddie had never given much thought before the love of his life was suddenly a DILF.

Steve in his mid 50s with full salt and pepper and wrinkles carving paths around his eyes and in the valleys of his hands. Eddie thinks Steve looks like a damn model, still with that famous Steve Harrington volume to his hair, while Eddie is starting to thin a little at his hairline. (Steve tells him every day how handsome he finds him, but Eddie doesn't think the unfairly attractive get to try and hype him up. He'll take his opinions from the brutally honest, like Erica Sinclair, thank you very much.)

Steve and Eddie getting close to their 70s, their skin is soft and fragile now. Steve has a smattering of age spots that situate themselves happily between his smatterings of moles and freckles and some of Eddie's earliest stick-and-pokes have faded away into distant memory. Eddie loves to kiss every new spot he finds on Steve even when his back protests the reach, and if he forgets which ones he's kissed already from time to time, well, he doesn't mind doing it again. Better safe than sorry.

Steve and Eddie at the end of their lives. They look so different than they did when they started their lives together, both barely over the threshold of their 20s. Some of the details they forget, but luckily they have several scrapbooks chock-full of the best moments of their best years together, so Eddie will never forget how annoyingly beautiful his husband has remained through a lifetime of love.

#steddie #fanfic #blurb #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #growing old #damn #this was supposed to be funny #oh well

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svnnw · 7 months ago

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WHEN YOU SMILE — mark smau

after barely passing your recent exam you're now desperately looking for someone to tutor you so your friends wouldn't worry about you and your grades.

or in which you find yourself making a deal with mark lee, a top students who seeks for your help. mutual benefit right?

fake boyfriend!mark x fem!reader

GENRE — fluff, angst, slowburn, comedy, humor, fake dating, non-idol au, college au

WARNINGS — a little bit of cursing, reader is kind of mean to mark, mark is REALLY nice, reader gets teased a lot, features other idols : xiaojun (nct); jaemin (nct); giselle (aespa); natty (kiof); haechan (nct); chenle (nct); ningning (aespa); minji (nwjns)

STATUS — ongoing

PLAYLIST — wildflower – billie eilish [02:14] ; sure thing – miguel [02:16] ; iris – the goo goo dolls [00:11] ; nobody gets me – sza [00:38] ; 200 – mark [01:04] ; godspeed – frank ocean [00:33] ; infrunami – steve lacy [00:32] ; intro (end of the world) – ariana grande [01:08] ; margaret – lana del rey [03:57] ; we can't be friends – ariana grande [02:27]

TAGLIST — open

A/N — soo excited for this smau especially because i've been wanting to post a mark smau for soo long!!

profile 1 || profile 2

1 ) how can you fail the easiest class

2 ) does this mean we're friends

3 ) just you wait

4 ) haechan's birthday party

5 ) officially fake dating

6 ) she's my friend

7 ) y/n is missing??

8 ) crazy fangirls

9 ) showing off while you're sleeping is crazy

10 ) does she hate me?

11 ) ILL FIGHT FOR YOU

12 ) i need advice

13 ) i guess i can forgive you..

14 ) mellowed out like crazy

15 ) YOU HAVE A SON???

16 ) bro tweets like a poet

17 ) why do i have to study even if i passed

18 ) this is a set up i just know it

19 ) 7 minutes in heaven

20 ) i bet his name starts with m and end with ark

21 ) i'd do anything to see her smile again

22 ) my angel

23 ) mark is down bad

24 ) it's not that important huh?

25 ) are you at a photoshoot

26 ) mark you're just jealous admit it

27 ) you're lowkey speaking facts..

28 ) this is what i call mandela effect

29 ) is that your secret man cave

30 ) my pretty angel

31 ) so was i ugly yesterday?

32 ) you're so easy to gaslight xiaojun..

33 ) what did i tell you?

34 ) since we're already here..

35 ) and that kids is how we kissed.

36 ) matching shirts with my new best friend

37 ) you've always been cute

38 ) crazy how you broke haechans record

39 ) so i'm that important to you?

40 ) you're a very socially awkward guy

41 ) just go and check twitter

42 ) i'm gonna rip my hair out

43 ) ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY??

44 ) WELL YOU THINK WRONG ❌

45 ) when you smile

bonus chapters :

who does he think he is?

dude yk i didnt mean it like that..

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rose-tinted-kalopsia · 2 months ago

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≡;-꒰ 𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋 ꒱₊˚ ପ⊹ I 𝑺𝒊𝒕 𝑺𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍

╰┈➤ ❝ rafayel x afab!reader | smut nsfw 18+ mdni | kinktober '24: day 26

tags : pwp (without plot), starts out kinda sub!rafayel but gets very dom!rafayel at the end, phonecall involvement(?), teasing, oral (m. receiving), deepthroating, hair pulling, vaginal sex towards the end (unprotected), dirty talk, praise, use of pet names "princess" "baby" "cutie". lmk if i missed any tags!

wc : ~1.2k

an : one of my older requests!!! 🥰 this took sooo long and i'm still sloowly trying to catch up with my kinktober fics as much as i can, but!!!! hehe hope you enjoy <3

taglist : under the cut !! (SIGN UP HERE)

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST / KO-FI JAR / COMMISSIONS

How far is too far?

It was a question you asked often.

Even as the towel you'd held up slid down over your body, even as you took slow, teasing steps towards the figure in front of you.

How far is too far?

You studied his reaction.

His eyes widened—you didn't miss the way his gaze raked over your body, the picture of pure, unadulterated desire.

And his breath hitched.

You heard it in the slight stutter in his words. So normally relaxed and unbothered just a few minutes earlier as you went to take you shower… Yet, now, he was struggling not to let his distraction show to whoever was on the other side of the call.

Thomas, you'd assume—from the flippant way he'd brush off the caller's words, and from the way this seemed to be another call about his upcoming exhibition.

How far is too far?

You asked yourself again as you got on your knees and crawled over the bed towards him, watching his every move.

The redness in his cheeks intensified, and you smirked.

There was a silent question in his eyes: What are you doing?

Yet, the answer was as obvious as it could be.

Feeling satisfied with yourself, you palmed over his pants. Slow, teasing movements… Every rub had him twitching beneath your touch, erection becoming more and more visible. The way that paused mid-sentence to swallow thickly was almost comical.

"Rafayel? Are you there?"

You could hear the voice on the phone.

"Uhh… You know what, I gotta—"

A look.

That was all it took from you.

A raised eyebrow.

You hooked your fingers through the waistband of his pants to pull down, easily exposing him to you, and made a vague gesture—continue.

Sometimes, Rafayel was obedient.

"…Nothing. Go on."

And with a wink, you leaned in.

His cock felt warm and heavy in your hands as you held him, head dipping over his tip to allow a bit of your saliva to fall onto it. Your eyes never broke away from his as you brought your thumb over it, spreading the wetness, coating his shaft in a way that made it easier for you to glide your hand up, and down.

Up, and down.

His breathing began to shallow.

There was a challenge in your eyes—end the call, and I'll stop.

Perhaps, the only reason he didn't hang up was because he know.

You felt a shiver of excitement zip up your spine, because you had power. For once.

Payback.

"Sit still, prettyboy," you whispered. You flashed him a grin before you leaned in closer, allowing your breath to fan over his dick, enjoying the way it twitched in your hands.

So responsive.

Still, you looked at him. You licked a strip up his length, tracing over the prominent vein with the tip of your tongue—he shivered, you felt it. As you sucked on his cockhead, he barely held back a moan. A dollop of pre-cum began to leak from the tip, and it almost couldn't be any more perfect than this. Watching him, you could see it—his lips parting, his cheeks flushed, eyes nearly glazing his forehead.

He was perfect.

He was delicious.

He felt good in your mouth like this.

Slowly, you lowered your head, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could. Your hand continued to stroke what you couldn't fit, and you began to set yourself a rhythm. All the while never looking away, all the while watching him draw in sharp gasps, trying not to whine, trying not to make it obvious through the phone that you were sucking him oh-so-good—

"Sorry. Shit—sorry. Gotta go. Talk… talk—oh, shit—talk later."

You could have laughed.

The moment he pressed on the red button to hang up the call, his phone had bounced on his bed, arms falling to his sides as he gripped at the sheets below. "Fuck—shit—princess, you… you menace, you…!"

Your actions had him spreading his legs a little wider, face scrunched up with pleasure. It didn't take long before his head was thrown back, and all he could say was your name.

Yet he wouldn't look away from you.

Wouldn't close his eyes.

Even as you swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock, even as you sank down deeper on him, even as you bobbed your head up at a pace that had him writing, moaning, bucking his hips up to your mouth.

He wanted to watch.

He wanted to watch you take more, and more, and more of him until you nearly gagged, the reflex bringing tears to your innocent, doe-like eyes, and—

"Fuck."

It was so easy to lose himself in you.

Within seconds, he had his hands tangled into your hair, hips raising from the bed, using you like his personal little toy. His hips fucked up into your mouth, twitching everytime his eyes moved from the sight of his cock disappearing into your swollen lips—to you.

Your eyes.

"Fuck—fuck—fuck—!" He moaned out, a mix of curses and your name until nearly unintelligible. "Shit! Yeah, princess, just like that, baby—gosh, you're insane, look at you being all innocent like that with me all in your mouth…"

His words had you going faster of your own volition, taking him in deeper, fighting through the discomfort of having so much of him in you. You could tell. The closer he got to the edge, the louder and needier he would get—hands falling back to fist the sheets, back arching off the mattress.

This time, his eyes closed.

And with every, every last bit of his remaining strength…

He pushed you away and flipped you over, caging you between his arms.

"You…"

His voice was lower this time.

Dangerous.

Yet you could only grin back up at him, your mouth wet with drool, and he narrowed his eyes.

"Cutie…" he mumbled. "I'm gonna get you back for this. You are soooo not getting away with this, you hear me?"

He was panting.

His chest heaved, his face almost completely red from exertion, and if you looked down—which you did—you'd see him throbbing and swollen, almost enough for you to think it felt painful.

Perfect.

"Are you?" you mocked him, clearly digging your own grave. Yet your tone didn't ease, and the proud look in your eyes didn't falter. "What're you gonna do about it, huh?"

A scoff.

"Oh, princess… If only you knew…"

A smug, almost infuriatingly sure-of-himself kind of smirk made its way to his lips, and before you could think to retort, he was inside you.

The sudden stretch, the sudden entrance, had your eyes widening. Your back arched into him in both shock and desperation, because he'd slid in so easily—you'd gotten wet just from sucking him off, and he took pride in that fact.

"You're not gonna leave until I have my fill, cutie," he smirked. With a knowing look, he leaned in to whisper: "And I'm gonna fill you up really good."

Another thrust, and he let out a chuckle.

"Sit still, princess."

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ceesimz · 5 months ago

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Reverie - Part 1

Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - Part 2

Hey, I have some things to say before you start reading. ASD is a very vast spectrum, no two people with it experience the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. This story is written with my knowledge from people I know, and also from my own experiences living with autism too. So don't take this as 'the' perspective, this is a drop in the ocean and this most definitely isn't a handbook on autism. If anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, or ASD in general, you are more than welcome to message me or drop something in my inbox! This is just part one, if you like this first half of the story (because I have no idea how this will go down), let me know if you wanna see the second part, it's ready to go whenever.

Big big thanks to @copper-16 for editing it and leaving such lovely comments on it, I wouldn't have the confidence to post this if it wasn't for your words. Thank you for taking a chance on this story and opening yourself up to learn more, the world needs more people like you and we're all much better off that you're here🫶🏼🫶🏼

This is my favourite thing I've ever written, and I kinda feel like I'm giving away a piece of my heart by posting this (dramatic much), let me know what you think, hope you like it :)

“Are you ready to go in?”

Are you?

Are you ready to walk into a new setting, head held high, and show your teammates you are worth it?

Or are you going to back out? Reverse right out the parking space, speed off to the airport, and catch a flight to god knows where?

That's simply not a possibility. Even if the thought of walking through those reception doors that stare tauntingly at you from across the car park perturbs you more than anything else, there's no backing out now.

Barcelona, the pride of Catalunya, the dominants of Europe, doesn't accept quitters. And that fact glares at you, along with all of its history and values held in the iconic badge that countless legends had adorned, and with it came a legacy you weren’t sure you had the strength to bare on your back. The new number nine, born and raised in Norway but made into the player you are now in Germany.

Here you were, after five years playing for Frankfurt, where you had grown accustomed to a comfortable routine with familiar faces and the same surroundings for so long, now in a new country that held so many unknowns. For someone with so many disadvantages ever present in their life, living in three different countries is a pretty impressive achievement.

Please, let it all be worth it.

After a few frustrating years in the Frauen-Bundesliga, you had signed for the best team in Europe and, arguably, the rest of the world too. Frankfurt had been a beautiful experience, one that had changed your life, but as a result of many, many long discussions with family and friends and psychologists, you had come to the terrifying realisation that it was time for a new challenge.

Why was that absolutely petrifying? Because you and life changes did not get along. Even after 26 years of living, it just wasn’t meant to be. But, such is life, and chances had to be taken.

You'd always be thankful for Frankfurt. Moving to play there was the first time you took such a huge leap of faith, and it had worked out well, eventually. In your eyes, the first season there was a disaster, but your mother would say it was the proudest year of her life. It had been difficult for her to see at times just how much you struggled at points, sure, but you made it to the light at the end of the tunnel and, by the end of it, you were a completely different person in the most incredible way possible. From then on, you continued to grow.

Yet, that was the thing with the German side. When you joined, they were a club with a legacy most teams would envy, but they never amounted to anything more during your time there. You fell in love with the staff, your teammates, and just about everything else during your time there. The only problem, which was pretty damn big in the grand scheme of things, was that you fell out of love with the football you were playing.

You were able to grow and survive at Frankfurt. You wanted to flourish and thrive at Barcelona.

Except, in comparison to the average human, there were a lot more obstacles ahead that could prevent you from accomplishing that aspiration. Over your life, you had overcome many bumps in the road, some leaving a harsh imprint on your self-worth and others hardly affecting you. For example, talking to the girl you were roomed with at 16 at the Norway Football Team camp had turned out to be one of the best things you could have done. Yet, in the same breath, playing for the national team had left you in a broken state, and as a result, you haven't played for them in a few years.

The back and forth travel was too much, and opting out of playing for Norway, as much as it broke your heart that you weren’t strong enough to represent your country on the international stage, it allowed you to rest and recuperate so that you were at the top of your game for your club. Did you dream of wearing your country’s crest one day? Yes, all footballers did. But you weren’t in a place to do that, and you’re not sure you ever will be again.

Signing for Barcelona could be life-changing, but it could also be world-shattering in the worst way imaginable. This was a pretty sizable leap of faith, and the only way that faith could form into something incredible is if you made that happen. You, no one else. That thought filled you with both determination and crushing anxiety. This just could not be another failed attempt. There was no way you could come back.

Ultimately, it would have been downright psychopathic to turn down such an amazing offer from Barcelona. Two years playing for a club that's won three of the last four Champion's League finals? A team that had just completed the quadruple for the first time in their history? Yeah, nonsensical.

However, like always, there were a number of doubts that spiralled from those incredible stats. Did they need you? If they had a mostly flawless season, did they really need a 26 year old woman whose mind hardly functioned like every other person? Did they really need someone who couldn't even play for the national team anymore because they were too overwhelmed with their life? Did they need someone who needed their hand held through every life event, big or small? Did they-

“Hey, you ready?”

That voice had some kind of magic to it. It was like clock-work, this always happened when she was around; that voice in your head consuming you with unwanted thoughts was erased as soon as you tore your eyes away from the doors and looked at the woman beside you.

Ingrid. The one person that had single-handedly convinced you to come here. To Barcelona, playing in a hot country, with people you don’t know, speaking a language you can’t understand- oh my God, what have you done?!

“I… god, I don’t know.” You breathed out in a whisper, hardly intelligible.

The world around you honed in on this one moment here, the peak of your career so far. Apart from Ingrid and the doors to the building and what was in store behind them, there was nothing else that could grasp your attention. There could be a blazing fire behind your car, a lion running full speed towards your car door, or a thief in the back seat for all you knew. Nothing else mattered. The two sides of your mind, the devil and angel on your shoulders were battling it out again, as they always were, whilst your hands fidgeted anxiously in your lap.

“You have to go in at some point, snuppa. You can’t stay in the car forever.” Ingrid softly reminded you, moving to take hold of your hand to comfort your stimming. “It will be a really good day, I promise. My years here so far have been the best of my life, everyone is so nice and welcoming. I never thought I could enjoy training as much as I do now. You will be fine, I have no doubts.”

“I’m not sure about that one.” You laughed nervously, eyes back on the building before you, now slightly glazed over and blurred.

“I am certain about everything I just said.” Ingrid stated definitively, squeezing your hand. “Plus, not everyone in there are complete strangers. You have me, Mapi, you know Caro and you’ve met Jonatan and some other staff members. You know Loren, the team psychologist who you can go see any time you want. We’ll get you past this part of today, and then you have the whole afternoon to do whatever you’d like.”

You nodded at her words, desperately trying to remind yourself of them over and over so that they stick, and you can get through those damn doors.

“You know how much easier my life would be if I knew how everything was going to play out?” You blurted out a moment later, Ingrid smiling in amusement. “It would be a breeze, Ingrid.”

“It would also make your life very boring, min skatt.”

“For you, it would be. For me, I'd live freely.”

Ingrid just laughed and shook her head, squeezing your hand once more before looking at the time on her watch.

“Come on. We have to do this one way or another, and I'm not letting you go in on your own. You want to make me late to training?” She teased, targeting your weak spot. Evil.

“That's cruel, Ingrid. So cruel.” You rolled your eyes but nevertheless stepped out of the car once you'd turned it off.

You didn't make it far though. Once you had gotten your kit bag from the boot of the car, you closed it and froze. Eyes unmoving from the daunting building in front of you.

“Would you like some company after training? We can stay at home, or go out for food, or do anything you'd like.” Ingrid offered, snapping you out of your anxious trance.

Even after… god, ten years now, you were still sometimes left dumb-founded by how well Ingrid knew you. A lot of the time, you yourself are in the dark about what you need, but your fellow Norwegian just gets it, even when you don't. It's pretty safe to say that your life, your whole career, would look a hell of a lot different if you had never met Ingrid.

If you put her characteristics into a different section when it comes to your favourite things about her, the thing you love most about the defender beside you is how she treats you. Sure, the majority of people treated you with respect and kindness, but the defender's love and care was on a whole other level. Like in this scenario now, when she knows you're too overwhelmed by the situation that confronts you to be able to think clearly. But here she is, giving you clear and thought-out options that off-kilt the tunnel vision you have on this one miniscule event, and now gives you something to look forward to.

It reminds you that the world won't end if this training session doesn't go how you want it to, that life goes on afterwards. It makes the road clearer, the journey easier, and allows solace to be found in a down-right terrifying moment.

The funny thing is, however, is that your new home is actually Ingrid's home. No, you weren't living with her, but you were indeed staying in her apartment. She basically lived at Mapi's apartment anyway, so the second she caught wind of your transfer, she immediately offered her disregarded apartment up to you. It was a huge item checked off the ‘things that need doing after uprooting your entire settled, content, perfectly routine life’ to-do list, but you couldn't quite relish in the relief yet.

That's because, though it went unsaid, another factor of Ingrid's offer of letting you stay was so that, if all went wrong and you couldn't make a life for yourself in Barcelona, there was no tenancy to rip up and ultimately it would be a lot less hassle than if you had rented an entirely new place. Ingrid's excuse of not changing your name on the tenancy for now was so that you could settle in with as little stress as possible, but you knew the underlying meaning. Basically, it was a giant get out of jail free card.

“I think I would like that a lot, actually. Thanks.” You said to the taller girl next to you, whose arm had come to wrap around your shoulders.

“Perfect! María has some things to do but I'm free all afternoon, so we can figure something out. For now though, we have to train.”

Taking in a deep breath, you nodded once more.

“That's all it is. Just training.” You told yourself, physically shaking the anxiety off of your chest and marching forwards. You got as far as those damn doors before you froze on the spot again. “Fuck, this is so scary.”

“I know it is.” Ingrid sympathised, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “We've got this though. It's just training, right?”

“It's just training. And a few introductions. And about a million new people.” You sighed. “Will you stick with me the whole time?”

“Like glue, søster.” Ingrid said firmly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let's go.”

And just like that, you did walk into the building with your head held high, disregarding the burdening nerves and replacing them with a deep-rooted determination to prove you are worth it. Maybe your teammates would think otherwise if they knew the secret you were keeping from them, but for now, you would put up a front and act just like them. Your best bet at succeeding here is to fit in, and that's what you'll do.

Ingrid wasn't impressed with this tactic of yours, not in the slightest. Jonatan and other senior staff members knew about you, Loren the psychologist knew about you, and Mapi knew. Besides that, everyone else was in the dark. There was only so long Ingrid could last before she had to tell someone at least, like Alexia or Irene or Marta, because she wanted the best for you and the best couldn't be given if your needs weren't catered for.

Like now, as she watched your whole face change in a split second as the mask came down so fast that, had she blinked a second later, she would have missed it entirely. The tension to the way you held your shoulders was all the evidence she needed that your whole nervous system was wracked with dread, and though she should expect it by now, it didn't stop the jab of sympathy she felt for you.

Of course she knew how difficult this would be for you, she just had really high hopes. Sometimes, even after all these years, it slipped her mind how much you still struggled with things. You'd gotten a lot better at dealing with various different circumstances and that mere fact could bring tears to her eyes if she thought about how far you had come, but moments like these were a snap back to the reality you still lived.

You lived so beautifully, you were so strong now, that your struggles were hardly visible anymore. Yet, when one knows a person for so long, they come to learn the signs. Ingrid knew you like the back of her hand. It still amazed her how quick you put the mask back up, normally being so care-free and light around her. But here, outside of the room everyone was due to meet in for the morning, a feigned smile on your face and a falsity to your posture signified all that Ingrid needed to know.

Even despite your dawdling in the car park, you and Ingrid were some of the first to arrive at the meeting, only a handful of unfamiliar faces scattered around the room. Jonatan looked up at the door upon your arrival and his face lit up, immediately dropping what he was doing to come and greet you with a beaming smile. He offers a gentle handshake, also being sure to speak in clear English so that your mind wasn’t overloaded more than it already was. All of it was reassuring, especially as he kept you off to the side as the room slowly began to fill up, before guiding you to the last chair on the front row beside Ingrid so that the meeting could start. Thankfully, to your relief, he gave you a short introduction to the rest of the squad, you only briefly turning and giving the room a general wave before allowing Jonatan to move onto more pressing matters.

From then on, you were rushed off your feet with introductions and training, all of which weren’t half as bad as you’d expected. During the short walk from the meeting to the changing room, a few others came along to properly greet you, all whilst Ingrid stayed close to your side. Mapi had also come bounding along after you the second you left the first room, Ingrid wincing at the excitement her girlfriend met you with but instantly that worry was erased as soon as you turned to Mapi with a matching overjoyed smile.

By the time you actually got onto the pitch, you had spoken to almost all of the team already. And like Ingrid said, they were just as amazing as you had hoped they would be. Every single one, in their own ways, welcomed you to the team and made small talk with you for a few moments before letting whoever next came by to have their own chance at greeting you. But, it wasn’t until you were about to join in with the warm-up that the person you’d been most nervous about meeting came along.

Your new captain, Alexia. The powerhouse of the Barcelona team, the one you had to leave the best impression on.

A few days prior, amidst a conversation in the corner of Ingrid’s favourite cafe, you had sheepishly demanded that she give you a run-down of each and every single member of the team. There had been Ona, who Ingrid described as a lightning fast defender whose jestful clapbacks were even quicker than her sprint bursts on the pitch. Then Cata, the new number one goalkeeper whose cheek was sometimes too much for even the younger members of the team. Jana, a surefire future talent who was often found beside her quieter, more reserved but equally talented counterpart, Bruna. Patri and Pina were much the same, as were Vicky and Salma. Ingrid gave you a short but detailed profile of all of them, leaving the most important for last. Alexia, who initially came across as slightly cold due to the stoic, focused expression she usually wore. But, to her teammates and those closest to her, she was a world class leader, an even better player, and most importantly, a defiantly caring person with a personality that had more sides than a kaleidoscope.

Upon hearing the exit door slamming shut, you turned your attention to the direction of the sound, only to be met with her. Casually strolling over, squinting in the face of the sun, she came over to you with a… a smile on her face?

“Hola! You must be the novota, nice to meet you.” She beamed, inviting you into a quick, polite hug before standing back. “Happy to be here?”

As always with new people, especially someone like the woman before you, you floundered internally for a moment, so many replies flitting around your mind with so little time to react.

“Y-yeah! Really happy to be here, thank you, Alexia.” You landed on, and judging by her reaction, it was the right thing to say.

“Good, I am glad to hear that. Sorry I was not here for the meeting, you’ve met everybody already, sí?”

“Yes, Jonatan introduced me in the briefing.”

“Good. Bueno, let’s get started. I am excited to be working with you.” The Spaniard smiled brightly once more, before gesturing loosely for the pair of you to join the rest of the group.

The rest of the day, as they say, is history.

It honestly went by in a blur, and if Ingrid was at all surprised by the way you literally fell into your bed when you arrived home, not surfacing from the newfound safe haven until about an hour later, she didn’t show it. This was Ingrid after all, and every quirk of yours, new or old, still brought a smile to her face. Ten years later and she couldn’t help but love you more each time she saw you.

—

The first week goes a lot smoother than you could have dreamed of to be honest - it’s only the start of preseason after all. But, there is still plenty of time for cracks to show. It only takes two days for all your progress to tear at the seams.

On the first day of your second week, you’re walking into training on your own for the first time since you joined. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong! Big fucking deal actually, because now it’s like walking blind, heading straight for what feels like danger. Unguided, no one by your side, only joined by the weight of an elephant seated right on your heart.

With the help of Ingrid of course, who else, you had established somewhat of a routine that made the transition so much easier. But it wasn’t quite clear until now, just how much easier it had made showing up to training everyday. Because, without your Norwegian counterpart who would be absent from training, you were left to show up all alone, and suddenly everything became ten times harder.

Ingrid was more than just your friend, she was the one constant in this new life you lived that was always present. Anything you needed, one glance from you in her direction and she’d be with you in an instant. She, as stupid as it may seem, was the foundation of your routine, and now that she wasn’t here, all the hard work you’d made to settle in seemed to crumble under your feet.

Three weeks of living in Barcelona, one week of training successfully completed, just for you to end up back at square one. And that meant you were trapped in your own body, limbs acting entirely on autopilot as your legs carried you over to those stupid doors that once again stood intimidatingly in front of you. Just like last week, except this time there was no one to coax you out of your shell, no one to mindlessly guide you over to one of the tables in the canteen, no one to walk you out onto the training pitch. You were all alone.

An unfortunate tactic hadn’t left your habits after all these years: avoidance. What better way to deal with something, then to not deal with it all, right? Right?

Obviously, you couldn’t miss the whole day, you still had commitments and expectations you needed to live up to. If there was one thing that you couldn’t handle (apart from almost everything in this neurotypical world) it was letting people down, disappointing them.

So, if you opted out of breakfast for the day and beelined straight for the changing rooms instead, what business was it to anyone else? You were here, that’s all they could ask for. The plan was to get dressed into your training kit as fast as physically possible, before heading out onto the pitch for some time alone before everyone else came along.

…Except, just as you were lacing up your boots, hand trembling at an embarrassing intensity as you did so, the door opened prematurely. And, really, out of everyone, did it have to be her?

“Oh. I did not expect anyone to be in here. Bon dia.” Alexia smiled at you, heading to her cubby just a few seats away from yours.

“Bon dia.” You muttered sheepishly, keeping your head down and tying your laces at a wildly uncontrolled speed. If Alexia noticed, she didn’t mention it. Thank god.

“I was just going to get some extra practice in, if you wanted to join me.” She offered, swapping her trainers for her boots since she was already in her training gear.

Great minds think alike..?

“Yeah, I was going to do the same thing. Thanks.”

“Ay, it's nothing. It's great that you're so hard working, you’re already fitting right in.” Sorry, could you say that again, or write it down even? “Ready?”

“What? Oh- sorry, yes, I’m ready.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile before slipping past where she stood in the doorway and heading towards the pitch.

“How are you feeling about your time here so far?” The captain asked kindly, the beating sound of boots clicking against the floor echoing far too long in your ears.

“Um, good. It’s an honour playing for this team, so.” You shrugged, offering an almost robotic, rehearsed answer.

“And what about how you actually feel? Not what you’re supposed to feel?” Alexia inquired lightly, an earnest and sympathetic look across her face. Slightly suspicious.

“Well… still good. It’s just different, isn’t it. Yeah.” You mumbled, cheeks flushing bright red as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.

“Of course it is different. You were in Germany for five years, right?” You nodded affirmatively. “So it is a big, big change. I haven’t been anywhere else but here for twelve years, I cannot imagine adjusting to anywhere else.”

Oh, Ingrid. Seriously?

“I’m here though, I have to leave Germany behind.” You stated in a flat voice, honestly quite done with this topic but it’d be rude to voice so.

“If that is how you want to think, then do it like that. You have transitioned very well, we are all impressed.” Alexia shrugged with a soft smile, punching in the code for the storage cupboard and opening it soon after. “Grab the footballs, I will get some tiny goals. The others can get the rest when they’re done filling their faces.”

Thank god for that.

Alexia ended that conversation there, directing her focus on training from that moment on, much to your relief. All that you learnt from this day was that you needed to have a conversation with Ingrid. Your sixth sense was strong, even if to others it seemed like Alexia was just being an averagely kind person, you just knew.

The good thing was, you couldn’t quite call that day a disaster. In the end, you got through it, even squeezing in a few jokes and laughs here and there throughout the day.

It’s the next day that the first incident occurred. It happened like this; Ingrid isn’t in again, you learn she’s got some kind of stomach virus, so you turn up once more on your own. This time, it wasn’t quite so scary, but like yesterday you skipped breakfast again. And just like yesterday, Alexia met you in the changing rooms to do some early practice again. Except, there was one fatal flaw to your routine this day. It came back and bit you in the ass pretty harshly.

“Ale, what are you doing after this?” Mapi wondered from your right as she stood up after Jona had ended training for the day.

“Eh, nothing.” She shrugged, going to ask you the same thing as she reached her hands out to help you up.

For all you knew, the Spanish pair you were sandwiched between could be speaking absolute gibberish, nothing was registering. As soon as you stood up, everything went hazy. And then… your vision had gone, your body felt unbelievably heavy, and had it not been for Alexia’s tight grip, you’d have fallen back there and then.

“Hey!” Alexia called out in concern, feeling you go limp in her hold. “Mapi, she’s fainting!”

“What!?” Mapi cried, immediately falling to her knees as Alexia safely guided you to the floor.

“I don’t know, she just collapsed!”

Her voice dripped with worry as Mapi frantically looked around, only to find most people had headed inside already. Meanwhile, you were still awake, not totally out cold, but your eyes ached unbearably and you’d lost all control of your movements. Alexia’s hands flitted over your body, looking for any obvious problems but she couldn’t find any. She repeated your name over and over, only receiving somewhat of a whimper in reply.

“Mapi, go find someone, now!” Alexia demanded, the defender instantly rising to her feet and heading for the door. The captain turned back to you, her hands gently coming up to cradle your face where you lay on your side. “Hey, I need you to listen! Can you hear me?”

“Mhm.” You whined, providing the woman before you with an ounce of relief.

“What’s wrong? You need to tell me so we can help you, cariño, you just fainted on us.” She said frantically, her wide eyes boring into yours when you opened them.

Identifying the problem, even in your state, was quite simple. It was a common problem, something you were well versed with, though you rarely ever let it get this bad.

“Forgot to eat.” You mustered up your remaining strength, which really was very little, to answer her and quell her worries.

Thinking back to this moment in probably an hour’s time, you’d laugh at Alexia’s face when you said those three words, because she looked utterly perplexed.

“You forgot to eat?” Alexia repeated with a frown, but she couldn’t dwell on it much longer because Mapi came running over with the medical team hot on her tails.

“Is she awake?” The brunette woman asked desperately, opting out of kneeling back beside you so as to not overcrowd you.

“Yes, and she said she forgot to eat today?” Alexia looked up at her friend, refusing to shift out of the way and instead choosing to stick by your side.

“Oh, that would explain it.” Mapi sighed in relief, only puzzling Alexia more. Was this… normal for you?

The medics fussed over you, asking you questions and ultimately overwhelming you way too much, something Mapi notices quickly.

“Oye, basta, slow down. Her blood sugar is low, she needs something quickly. Get her an energy gel.” Mapi commanded them, now joining you by your head and smiling her bright smile down at you, combing back some of your hair. “Hola preciosa, we'll get you back feeling better soon.” Just as she said that, a member of the medical staff pulled out one of the energy gels the team used for games. “Can you have this for me? It will make you feel better, I promise.”

With a nod, the people around you helped you to sit up as Mapi tore open the gel packet, with Alexia still almost frozen in confusion. The defender noticed, grinning in amusement and quickly flicking her ear to bring her back down to earth.

“Ah! What's that for?” Alexia winced, watching on as Mapi shook her head and handed you the gel pack.

Your hand trembled as you raised it to your mouth, hardly possessing the strength to squeeze it enough to get anything out of it, but just as Mapi went to help you, Alexia got there first.

“It’s okay, here.” She does it for you, one hand on the packet and the other on your elbow that shakes under her hold. She seemed to be grounded now, knowing that it isn't the right moment to be wrapped up in her own thoughts when you're here in front of her, needing security and comfort whilst it takes a couple minutes to come back to yourself. “Easy with it. You'll feel better soon.”

And you did, literally no less than two minutes after having the energy gel, your nausea and dizziness and whatnot near enough disappeared. Though, your physical symptoms gave way for a barrage of anxiety, because this situation would consequently lead to an unwanted and challenging (but most likely necessary) conversation with Jonatan and the rest of the staff. They had also seen you, on the floor, near enough passed out, as a result of your own actions. You could only imagine the things they were thinking right now, and that unknown was scarier than the actual situation that had occurred beforehand.

“Feeling good now. Thanks everyone.” You said shyly, rising to your feet and avoiding everyone's gaze.

“You sure?” Alexia checked, giving you a look that tells you that you shouldn't even try to bullshit her.

“Well, a little bit… woozy, I guess. But much better than before, I swear.” You nodded, hating the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you.

“Let’s go inside, I’ll ask the catering staff to make up some food for you, if you want?” Mapi offered as her hand hovers against your back, not touching but guiding you back inside the main building.

“Okay.” You shrugged.

Meanwhile Alexia trailed behind, trying to figure out how, as captain, she could help this situation. It’s in her best interest to care for her team, and given what she had learnt, it was now clear that there was a lot more she could do than sit back and watch. She didn’t want to come across as overbearing, something Ingrid had warned her about, but she realised it was time to step in.

“Why don’t we go to one of the office rooms rather than the canteen?” She suggested just as Mapi went to open the door heading into said room. The defender should have thought of that sooner, but she’s glad her friend mentioned it, realising it’s most definitely the better option right now for you.

You were taken to an empty office, followed into the room by Alexia and Mapi and some of the physios, and if they weren’t overcrowding you outside, they definitely were now. In all honesty, as much as you were grateful for their care, you wanted to burrow under your duvet in bed at home and not surface for probably about a week. You wanted to grab a tray of cookies, eat them whilst seated on the edge of your bed so you didn’t get crumbs everywhere, and crawl under the sheets safe in the darkness of the four walls you had struggled to leave the past two days.

But no, you were here, stuck in a reality that in no way felt real at all. What were you doing here? Sat at a round table, surrounded by medical staff chatting between themselves, not really bothered about your blip anymore, whilst two of Spain’s greatest players stand off to the side, both pairs of eyes trained solely on you.

You, a no-name off the back of an unsuccessful run in Germany that had just collapsed after training. Them, Champion’s League winners and well-established in the sport for years already, and decades to come.

“Preciosa?” Mapi appeared beside you suddenly, speaking softly as her hand fell on your shoulder. “Is it okay if I leave now? Ingrid is still sick at home, I promised I would get back to her as fast as I could. If you need me to stay, I can. They won’t keep you here for much longer, they’re just making sure you eat before you get back home.”

She should be with Ingrid, her girlfriend who is much worse off at home. Not with you, who simply made a foolish mistake and was now wasting everyone’s time.

“Go home.” You told her as your own hands squeezed anxiously at your upper arms where they sat crossed on the table.

“Okay.” Mapi smiled pitifully down at you, giving you a light forehead kiss before backing off. She pulled Alexia to the side, giving her a warning glare. “Look after her, for me and for Ingrid. Protect her, too. Don’t let them overwhelm her, she just wants to get home.”

“Sí. Of course.” Alexia replied firmly, a solid look in her eyes that Mapi knew to trust immediately.

The defender slipped out of the room with no further fuss, leaving you alone with Alexia and the medical staff. Not for long, though.

“Guys, could you give us a moment? And can someone go collect her food from the canteen, please.”

They nodded and stepped out of the room, Alexia closing the door softly behind them. She turned back to you, watching as you kept your head down and focused on the shapes you traced on the wood of the table. Your shoulders were visibly tense, so uptight they’re basically touching your ears, and she noticed just how intensely your leg was bouncing up and down.

“Do you need anyth-”

“Did Ingrid tell you?” You asked bluntly, gulping back the lump in your throat that really had no place making itself known at this moment - now was not the time for a meltdown. Save it for later, in the safety of your flat.

Alexia blew out a breath, coming over to perch on the edge of the desk a few seats away from you.

“If you’re talking about what I think you are, then… yes. She did tell me.” She answered cautiously, trying to gauge your reaction but you didn’t give her much, just a single nod. “She did it with the best intentions though. It wasn’t to… purposely go behind your back. She just wants the best for you, and the more people that know, the more support you can have here.”

“I guess.” You murmured under your breath, clearing your throat after and moving to rest your chin atop your arms.

“Why… why didn’t you want anybody to know?” The midfielder wondered in a soft tone, trying hard not to scare you off or go over the top. If she wants to help you and understand you, which she desperately does, this is the pathway she has to, albeit reluctantly, go down.

“Wanted people to get to know me, not a label.” You frowned, hastily wiping the tear that slips out with the frustration slowly bubbling inside of you. “Didn’t want to be a problem for anyone. Wanted to fit in.”

Just like that, it all clicked for Alexia.

The feigned smiles, sometimes forced laughter, the troubled look on your face whenever you thought you were alone, all of it adds up. You had repressed parts of you so that things went as smooth sailing as possible, so that people didn’t think any differently of you or immediately feel drawn away like they often did. The biggest part of you, what makes you you, is the one thing you didn’t want people to see, out of nothing but complete and all-consuming fear. And Alexia would be damned if she let you go on like this.

“Can I take a seat next to you?” She said quietly, a hint of a smile on her face when you nodded again. She did exactly that; without making too much noise in the still room, she pulled up the chair next to you and sat down, her eyes raking up and down your face.

“If I told you that I don’t think any differently of you at all, would you believe me?” She began with.

You just shrugged dismissively, not having moved a single muscle in the past few minutes apart from breathing and blinking. If you don’t move, if you don’t draw attention to yourself, perhaps this whole thing will disappear. A girl can dream.

“Because I don’t, cariño. I really don’t. You are not a problem for any of us at all. You face different struggles than us, but nobody thinks of you as anything less than a great player and an even better person. We are all glad you are here. I and others on the team will face different struggles than you, and I can bet you would never think any differently of us. Am I right?”

Her words break through the defensive wall you’d put up to protect yourself from anything else around you. A common feature of the start of your meltdowns, except it’s quite possible that your captain had just stopped it from going any further.

Hesitantly, you sat up from your slouched position and wiped tiredly at your face.

“No, I would never.” You told her, slumping back against your chair and fiddling with the drawstring on your shorts.

“Exactly. You don’t need to worry about any of that at all, I promise. You are one of us now. A culer. We will take care of you.” She smiled brightly, you can hear it in her voice. So for the first time since you’d entered the room, you turned to look at her, only to find her eyes were filled with earnesty and kindness. And… perhaps for the first time since you’d arrived in Barcelona, you truly did feel like you belong here. Like you could make a life for yourself here, against all odds.

“Thanks.” You sniffled, feeling the remnants of your outburst fade away, only to leave overwhelming exhaustion in its wake.

“It’s okay. You can come to me anytime for anything. There will always be someone here for you to talk to, and I’ll be the first to fight for you if that’s ever necessary.” Now, you were actually smiling. A genuine one, too.

“I think Ingrid might beat you to it, actually.” You teased her, watching as she grins.

“You’re probably right.” She chuckled, before pausing. You already knew what she was about to say before she opened her mouth. Neurotypicals are just way too predictable. “How did you know Ingrid told me?”

“You can just tell when someone knows. They treat you differently.” Alexia frowned anxiously at that.

“I didn’t… did I treat you differently?” She questioned, along with a poor attempt at disguising the undertones of fear in her voice.

“You haven’t, not really, but… I don’t know, I can just tell instantly. It’s hard to explain. You haven’t treated me differently, but I could tell you knew compared to when you didn’t know. The look on your face too. But thank you for… just everything so far. You have helped a lot, so.” You shrugged. She smiled, a little in relief, but nodded nevertheless.

“You don’t need to thank me. Now, can I ask some more about what happened today? You said you forgot to eat?”

“Yeah. It’s just because my routine was messed up, that’s all. Yesterday morning I ate before training because Ingrid had baked me some pastries, but today I had none left and then genuinely forgot. It happens sometimes, it’s just part of it.”

“Part of what?”

“Autism.” Duh.

“Oh. I did not know that.” Alexia stated simply.

“Yeah, well, most people don’t.” You told her. Alexia nodded understandingly, a plan of action already formed in her mind.

“I’m sure you already know this, as an athlete, but it’s important for your safety that this doesn’t happen again. So I have a solution in mind that could help.” You hummed to tell her to continue. “I can ask either the catering staff here, or find a private chef, to start meal prepping for you. We can organise it on the club’s behalf so that you don’t have to pay anything. I will go with you, or for you if you’d like, to Jonatan and help sort it out for you. You can meet with a nutritionist to figure out what food you need and tell them what you do and don’t like, we can sort it all out for you. It wouldn’t be a problem.”

Oh. You’d never thought about that before.

“I guess that could work.” You decided after a few moments of consideration.

That would actually be a really helpful solution. Certainly one less thing to worry about, and it could add a secure layer to your routine. An important one too.

“Would you be okay with that?” Alexia wondered, smiling when you nodded. “Good. Leave it to me, I will get it sorted for you.”

She paused again, clearly hesitant about something. You raised an eyebrow at her, trying to coax it out of her with a look, but you couldn’t help the amused smile on your face at the sudden, faint blush that landed on her cheeks.

“What is it?”

“Uh… there is no way to ask this without coming across as… very forward, to say the least.” She started, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. “May I get your number? For captain’s reasons, of course.”

“Right.” You smirked, watching as she shakes her head, this time at your teasing, and grabs a pen from the stationary pot in the centre of the table. “And what shall I write it on?”

“Well… just use my hand, I guess.” She suggested, offering the back of her hand out for you. You grinned and gently took hold of it, jotting down your number for her.

“There you go, Capi.” You smiled, clicking the pen and putting it back.

Not long after that, one of the staff members came in with the food Alexia and Mapi had organised for you. So, leaving your captain with a promise that you'll eat it the second you walked through your apartment door, you went home. It was a great meal, and if it'd be the catering staff at Barcelona that would do your meal prep, well, it'd be a great deal.

That night went just like the others; you relaxed for some time to decompress after training, until you eventually started feeling somewhat human again, and arose from bed to do one of any of your hobbies that you felt like doing that night. Reading, watching movies, drawing and painting, listening to music, or any others that pique your interest that night.

On some occasions, you'll be so mentally exhausted from your day that none of them seem at all appealing, and it takes a lengthy period of time to feel yourself again. An hour, the rest of the evening, or sometimes even the whole week. After especially hard times, it could take weeks. Fortunately you hadn't been through such events in years, but the fear of falling into that hole ever again was always present in the back of your mind.

The thing about having this disorder is that some things never change. Most things never change. You learn to cope, you can heal from past experiences, but in the grand scheme of it all, things never change. Certain events, people, even words can still be triggers. No amount of therapy or coping mechanisms or whatever, can help. You were born this way, and you would die this way.

You would live a life and still struggle with even the most mundane things. Washing dishes was a no-go, the sensory issues were way too intense for that one. A day without showering first thing in the morning was automatically a write off. Bad performances in matches could still lead to a meltdown on certain days. One wrong look from someone can send you spiralling.

Autism was a blessing and a curse. It made you who you are; you have no idea who you would be without it. Yet, at the same time, it could debilitate you to such extreme degrees that… at night, when you were alone under the disguise of darkness, you can't help but wonder what you could have done with your life had you not been born with this burden.

And with the day you'd had already, well, the only way you'd learnt to get over these things were to move on from them. That's what you had to do. If you become too concentrated on them, analysed every detail that went wrong, thought about every opinion those who witnessed it could hold, you'd suffer for it more than you needed to.

You couldn't move on if others couldn't move on though.

Unknown: Did you get home safe?

There was most likely only one person it could be, but where's the fun in that?

You: Depends who I'm talking to…

Alexia: It's Alexia??

Too easy.

You: I knew it was you, dumbass. Yes I got home safe, thank you. Food was great too :)

Although, when a few minutes went by after that last text, the doubts came flooding in. Did you take it too far with her? It was a bit ballsy to say that, she's just checking in on you. Captain duties.

Then again, who was it calling you?

“Hello?” You frowned, and this was another instance where you're cursing yourself, because why was your heart racing and cheeks burning at one random phone call?

“Dumbass, huh?” Came a smug voice, and then your heart was racing for another, more light-hearted reason.

“Yeah, sorry about that… apparently I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior.” You blushed sheepishly, relieved beyond belief when the woman down the line laughed.

“Don't worry about it. You're feeling okay now, sí?”

“Yes, fine. You know, I didn't plan for today to happen. It just did.” You mumbled, still embarrassed by it all.

“I know, no one blames you for it. I just wanted to check in with you.”

“I'm good, thanks. I've only ever had that happen like once before, I guess training on an empty stomach isn't the greatest idea in the world.” You joked lightly, Alexia humming in agreement.

“How does it happen? You said your routine was messed up, how did that lead to you forgetting?”

“It's a long story.” You sighed, but Alexia doesn't care.

“I have a free evening.” She said simply. This woman.

“Well… every training session so far, Ingrid has met me in the morning at my apartment beforehand so we can travel in together. She normally checks in with me, asks how I'm feeling and if I've eaten and whatnot. But she was ill, which I obviously don't blame her for, by the way. So not having her with me these past two days has terrified me quite a bit. She's basically the thing that holds my whole morning routine together. I guess, because she wasn't there, everything just flew out the window.” You explained, but things still weren't quite adding up in Alexia’s mind.

“So how does that relate to you forgetting to eat? Do you not get hungry?”

“Not like normal people do. One of the things with autism is that… we're not really in tune with our bodies? Like, I don't often get hungry or thirsty, I have to force myself to remember to eat and drink. And when I don't, I only realise I haven't done either of the two when I start feeling ill, like today. But food and drink feel like a chore, which is another reason I forget too. It's different when it comes to football though, being an athlete has taught me to be in tune with my body in terms of injuries, but not for anything else. It's weird.”

“Wow, I never knew that before. That's interesting.” She commented. She's got a lot to learn.

“I prefer… inconvenient.” You said with a shy smile, glad to hear Alexia chuckle at that.

Unexpectedly, for quite some time after that, the pair of you just… talked. A lot. Like, for an hour. About everything - from what pastries Ingrid baked you, to a few more facts about yourself and your ASD, and everything in between.

It's unnervingly natural. Fun too, but also a little odd. Is she doing it out of pity, or..?

“I almost forgot the other reason I called you.” She said out of nowhere, the smile on her face audible once again. “We have our pre-season dinner this Friday, the whole team is going. You should come.”

A dinner? At a restaurant? Oh god.

“Oh, I… it sounds good, but I don’t know, I-”

“Hey, why not?” She questioned gently.

“Just, they’re not really my scene.”

In a split second, Alexia attempted to think back on all she knew about anxiety to combine it with the very little information she knew about autism, hoping the two overlapped somewhat. Luckily for her, they do.

“The club rents out the restaurant so it’ll just be the team and a few senior staff members. It shouldn’t be too loud. It’s more like a celebratory dinner before the season starts, so there's no partying or anything like that at all. I really hope you come, but I understand if not. There’s no pressure.”

Damn you, Alexia.

“Okay. Okay, I'll go.”

—

Normal order resumed for the rest of the week; Ingrid recovered from her short 48-hour bug and returned to training like she hadn't even had a day off. Her being back also meant your mind was a hell of a lot more at ease, even if Alexia had offered to see you every morning.

There was one other thing you were blessed with: obliviousness. Because, during the car ride to training the day after your phone call with the captain, the smirk that Mapi greeted you with in the rearview mirror after you tell her what happened once she headed home, is definitely not confusing at all. Definitely not.

That smirk made a comeback far sooner than you'd like.

“Say that again?” Mapi asked with a squint to her eyes, forcing down the laughter she so desperately wants to let out.

“Alexia is driving me to the team dinner.” You repeated the sentence you'd just said for her, looking to Ingrid for help. “Ingrid, tell her to behave please.”

“María, come on. Alexia is just doing her a favour, you know she's not a fan of driving.” Ingrid said whilst nudging her girlfriend, though secretly she's hiding some intense excitement levels under her very good poker-face.

“Exactly! Screw you, Mapi.” You sighed dramatically, turning back to the mirror as you put your earrings in.

“So you're sure you don't need us to drive you there?” Mapi asked suspiciously, and there was that stupid smirk again.

“Ugh, yes! I am making friends, you should be happy!” You groaned, fixing the shorter defender with a dagger-like glare in the reflection.

“More than fr-”

“Okay! Are you ready, snuppa? When is Alexia coming?” Ingrid interjected, discreetly stomping on her girlfriend's foot.

“She's on her way, she'll be here any minute now.” You answered after checking your phone. “You know, I can't rely on you guys forever like you're my parents or something. I love you, but I don't love you that much. And I'm sure you feel the same.”

“No!” Ingrid cried out in a way that's entirely too theatrical. She came over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I do love you that much, it's María you need to worry about.”

“I do worry about her sometimes. You should too, Ingrid.” You murmured, Ingrid humming in agreement as you watched her Spanish counterpart… busy herself in your fridge?

“María, out of there! We are literally going for dinner right now!”

“Ingrid, princesa, you need to work on your English- we're not at dinner ‘right now’, that is why I am in the fridge.”

“Guys! Alexia is here, let's go. I'll see you at the restaurant.” You kissed Ingrid’s cheek and flicked Mapi’s forehead as you ushered them out the door, locking it behind you and making your way down to the ground floor.

Alexia was there, waiting for you whilst leaning against her car, and a smile tugged at her lips the second she saw you. You heard some commotion behind you, most likely Mapi being scolded by Ingrid, but you shut it out as you headed over to the midfielder, fighting back a ridiculously cheesy grin.

She greeted you the same way she did on the first day she met you - enveloping you in a warm hug that really shouldn’t be as comforting as it was. Not a big deal. Regardless, you both clambered into the car and made your way to the restaurant.

Thankfully, the evening went surprisingly well. It was a very low-key evening, just like Alexia said. In fact, you might even go as far as to say you enjoyed it, that’s a welcome revelation. And it seems you weren’t the only one that had discovered something new.

“Can I ask you something?” Alexia said on the drive back to your apartment.

“Sounds like there’s no stopping you.” You replied, smiling when she teasingly rolled her eyes.

“At dinner, when Patri asked why you don’t drink, you said ‘long story short, I don’t like it’ so I was just wondering what you meant by that?” Alexia asked, before almost immediately regretting it. “I mean, you don’t have to answer, it’s your business, but… if there’s anything we should be mindful about, then let me know.”

Who needed alcohol when you had a tendency to lose your inhibitions whenever you got too exhausted?

“No, not really any problems. I don’t have any issues with people drinking around me, I just have a bit of a history with it but it’s nothing big. It’s fine.” You shrugged, trying to keep your eyes open as the streets of Barcelona passed by your window.

“What… what happened?” Alexia pressed gently.

“Well, when I was about seventeen, I started going through a really hard time. I had just dropped out of school, I’d had some trouble with friends, I was basically struggling quite badly. I started partying and drinking a lot, way more than I should have. Then I began to rely on it too much, just to get me through really basic stuff. It made me feel normal, it got rid of the voice in my head and it made me feel like a functioning person of society because it was what everybody else did. One day I decided it was best that I don’t drink at all, and it’s easier to tell people I don’t like it but actually I’m just scared of drinking because of all it reminds me of. So, I avoid it.” You explained, rather nonchalantly.

The mental exhaustion was hitting hard that night, it was evident in the way you spoke. There was one explanation; dissociation. Dinners were not your favourite things in the world, they were a challenge to get through even when you were in the best company. Small talk, food, the sound of people eating, the scrapes of cutlery against ceramic, and the attention on some occasions being entirely on you? Yeah, a big no go. Which is why you were so tired, so distant, because your mind was in protection mode to keep you running until you got home.

Talking about your past was difficult, you’d come a long way and it felt counter-intuitive to talk about the bad times when you’d worked so hard to come to a good place. Yet, here you were, baring your soul about a topic you normally kept to yourself. You don’t even feel at least a little bit anxious at the fact you’d just spilled that secret. Alexia takes all the concern you normally feel and keeps it for herself.

“I’m sorry you went through that, cariño. Thank you for telling me.” She smiled sadly over at you, an ache growing in her heart at your defeated demeanour where you sit in her passenger seat. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Tired. So tired.” You sighed. Even just talking felt like a chore in that moment. “Wanna get home, s’all.”

“Okay, we’re almost there now.” She said, “I’m proud of you for coming today. I know you weren’t a fan of the idea initially but you came, and everybody was so glad that you did. I am really proud of you, and so are Ingrid and Mapi too.”

The woman to your left surprised you everyday with each act of kindness she was showing. She hardly knew you, she hardly knew of your struggles, but she was adamant to learn and show just how deeply she cared. You were beyond grateful for her and all she’d said and done, even if you couldn’t verbalise that just yet.

All you could do was offer a simple nod, almost entirely mute as a result of how utterly overstimulating the day had been. You had loved it, sure, but sometimes when days like today left you in such a dejected state that you could hardly talk, there were still times if you wondered if fighting for a somewhat normal life was worth it.

From then on, the rest of the drive home was silent. Alexia dropped you off, made sure you knew to contact her or Ingrid or whoever you felt comfortable speaking to should you need them, and that was that. You got inside, were barely able to get yourself changed, before passing out as soon as you got into bed.

—

A few weeks went by and it was more of the same. After that dinner, the team really clamped down and focused on getting everybody ready for the start of the new season. Training at Barcelona was different to anything you’d ever experienced before; it was intense, but light-hearted. There was competition, but it was healthy, everybody egged each other on even if they wanted to win. Ingrid was right, you had never found training this enjoyable before. You had to put that down to the people though, if it wasn’t for them then you’d never feel as comfortable as you do now.

There were blips, there were still obstacles, but apart from that time you fell ill after training , there hadn’t really been any meltdown-inducing moments. Just a lot of burn-out and exhaustion, but you were near enough a pro at dealing with that now.

The environment was… perfect for you. And one factor of that outcome is definitely down to the help of the famous three you had near enough attached yourself to since your arrival.

But the main factor to how well you had settled in was down to you. At some point along the way, not that the exact date mattered or anything (at exactly 12:02 on Monday the 26th of August), you hit a milestone that you had never managed to reach before.

It was unplanned, but once the initial shock had worn off and the anxiety left, you teared up in the arms of Ingrid at the pride you felt towards yourself. Then Mapi joined in with the hug, and so did Alexia, then… so did the whole team too.

For the first time, you were honest with your team. For the first time, you told them that you had autism. And for the first time, you weren’t suffocated by that prospect. When they all came together to hug you, it wasn’t just a physical embrace, it was them fully accepting you even with this burden you held and championed every day of your life. Though, with the support of others, it was hard to think of it as a burden. The gravity of a secret this big had weighed you down for years, but… now, your chest had never felt so light.

They supported you when you arrived, but the extremes this Spanish team took didn’t quite register until the week before the first game of the Liga F season. Fortunately for you, the first game of the season was at your new home of football, the Estadi Johan Cruyff. So, to help settle the rising nerves you were feeling as game day got closer, the club had organised a training session for you at the stadium a few days before. The more familiar you were with your surroundings, the less you had to worry about on the day. And, as everybody knew, the only thing you needed to worry about for your debut would be how well you did on the pitch.

What you didn’t know though, was that every member of your team was waiting in the stands for you to walk out. And the second the sound of boots hitting the floor echoed from the tunnel through the empty stadium, Mapi was up on her feet to cheer and encouraged her teammates to do the same. The only person that hesitated was Ingrid, but when she saw the look on your face as your te- your friends outwardly rallied behind you so openly and so freely, she became the loudest one of them all. That was the perfect way to prepare for game day, you really couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work with everyday.

Were you jittery and wracked with nerves as you waited on the sidelines to be substituted in at the 70 minute mark? Yes, but the second you took your first step on the grass with the crowd’s applause as your welcome, you fixated on the game and everything else was just background noise.

From a young age, before you had even heard of the word autism, football had very obviously been your special interest, otherwise known as the one random topic out of everything in the world to take over your life.

You would spend hours in your backyard, kicking a ball against the side of your house, driving your family crazy. The walls of your bedroom were covered, corner to corner, in posters ranging from your favourite players, to clubs from all over the world. Christmases and birthdays as a kid were, to you, all about what from your presents you could add to your collection. Kits, boots, scarves, match-day programmes, magazines, even trading cards. Back at your childhood home in Norway, all these things were stored away in the attic, still items you cherished.

As you got older and life got a bit more difficult, football became your escape. School was exhausting, people were exhausting, but football was something you could do on your own. No one bothering you, no one expecting anything from you, it was a time you could forget the world and all its misdemeanours, and just relax. And honestly, that’s all you planned for it to be. It was hard to imagine it being anything else than just a hobby.

All it took was one game to change the whole trajectory of your life. A game of girls against boys at your school at the age of only eleven, and the next day your sports teacher had gotten you a trial at the local academy. You passed it with flying colours, and flourished in the sport from there.

…Until one random day when you were fourteen, your mother sat you down for a conversation you never could have expected. But once you'd had time to dwell on her words, everything made sense.

You had autism spectrum disorder.

It wasn’t made official until the assessment process was over and you received your diagnosis, but that was the day it felt like your life had been irreversibly changed. Your view of the world changed with one conversation, and it was as if everything you thought you knew was wiped completely. Like you had been thrown into the ocean with no one and nothing around to help.

All the tantrums, the bad behaviour at home compared to being a model student at school, the fussy eating habits, and the endless list of out-of-the-norm habits you had - it added up to this one, new label. The tantrums became meltdowns, the reasoning behind your behavioural differences were from spending the whole day surrounded by people and masking to fit in which led to you being so overwhelmed and overstimulated, your mind went into overdrive and didn’t know what to do. The fussy eating turned out to be sensory issues, with the textures and tastes of certain foods making you physically ill.

There was so much to learn that some days it felt like too big a challenge to tackle. Then there would be the days where you were up all night, the light of your family laptop kept hidden under the blanket you draped over yourself, as you researched this life-changing disorder until the sun rose.

It’s funny, really, how quickly your life can change with just three words.

For years, you had been defeated by it, succumbing to the assumptions that you could never amount to anything more than the label forced upon you, but look at you now. Providing a world class through ball to the most recent Ballon D’Or recipient to tie off a 3-0 win in the first game of the season.

You had learnt at some point in the last twelve years that the only choice you had was to live with it. Make the most of it. This was your one life, you had to make it work. You were adamant to thrive for the others that couldn’t, for the 1 in 13 women that didn’t believe they were strong enough to fight back, and to prove to the world that this disorder didn't hold you back.

They wouldn’t know that your mind could be your own worst enemy, or the self-deprecating thoughts you could have whilst your face gave away no hints, or that sometimes you didn’t believe in yourself and the anxiety was so intense that you could be stuck in bed for days, even weeks, at a time. All they saw right now was your team, FC Barcelona, rushing over to celebrate you rather than the goal scorer because they knew what it meant to you. The world would only ever see your victories, because they had no business to strike you when you were already down. You were strong, you were worth it, and most importantly, you had done it. You’d made it to the exact point you dreamed of. That’s all that mattered.

Unfortunately, it only takes one bad thing to set you down an unwanted path.

Part 2

#woso x reader #fcb femení #fcb femeni #fcb femení x reader #alexia putellas x reader #ingrid engen #mapi león #fridolina rolfö #barcelona femeni #barcelona femení #barcelona femeni x reader

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vanesycho · 2 months ago

Note

Baby please drop the Sunoo fwb fic, i'm craving so bad

kinktober day 26 [fwb]

|masterlist|

a/n:since you asking so nicely here it is baby, sorry to keep you all waiting, wanted to stay away from writing smut for a while. I will start filling in the others shortly, thank you for your patience, and enjoy reading.

warnings | smut, sub sunoo being dom, sunoo calling reader 'noona', fingering, eating out, sex toy(vibrator), sunoo kinda manipulates the reader by using his innocence.

wc:1,9k

Sunoo took a deep breath when you still didn't answer his phone. You weren't there when he needed you the most and he could barely keep from touching himself anymore "Ah...Y/n.." your name left his lips in a needy whine. His hand slid down from inside his shorts to his hardened cock, pressing the call button again while he started to slowly touch himself. After a few calls, you picked up the phone and heard a moan from the other end "Hi, sorry- wait.. Are you touching yourself?" Sunoo whined, closing his eyes "What do you expect me to do? I need you and you never look at your phone." he spoke needy, your giggle reached his ears and he frowned slightly, letting out another moan, his hand wasn't enough, he needed you, right now. Right now. "I'm sorry baby but I'm with someone else right now but I promise I'll make it up to you." His breath caught for a moment, he took his hand off his dick and sat up straighter, laughing hysterically "What do you mean.. You're with someone else? We didn't agree on this, we were supposed to be there whenever we needed each other, right?" There was a seething anger inside him that he couldn't make sense of, there was no rule in the agreement that you wouldn't be with anyone else, but despite this, he wasn't, couldn't be with anyone else but you. On the one hand, he knew that you were with someone else, but were you going to leave him alone and satisfy someone else right now? The feeling of neglect took over him "Yes, I know, but I can't just leave him right now, look, I'll make up for this tomorrow, hm? I have to go right now." You hung up the phone and Sunoo laughed angrily, throwing the phone somewhere randomly, brushing his hair back with his hand "Ah...She must be kidding me, fucking-" he threw his head back and closed his eyes, trying to calm down, he was looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and he was sure that he wouldn't let you get away with it.

When the next day came, Sunoo was calmer than you expected, he greeted you with a smile and invited you home. Things went faster than you expected and you found yourself directly in his bedroom in a way you didn’t understand. A little make-out session was making your body burn, Sunoo’s tongue was brazenly joining yours and he was whining between his wet kisses. When you broke away from the kiss to catch your breath, he brought his hand to your cheek, not letting you go too far. “Noona..Why did you neglect me, huh? Am I not good enough for you?” he asked in an almost whispering tone, your chest rising and falling rapidly, he knew you liked him like this, needy, hungry for your attention..He enjoyed using it on you, while you actually thought you could do anything to him, all of this was happening thanks to him, Sunoo was someone who knew how to get what he wanted and no, he wouldn’t lose you to anyone from now on, he would make sure you knew that. “I’m sorry baby..Let me make up for it.”

As you moved in for another kiss, Sunoo pulled back, you looked at him, a small grin on his face. “Apology not accepted, but maybe if you let me be on top tonight I can accept it.” You raised your eyebrows questioningly and laughed. “Really? Well, whatever you want. I wonder what you can do.” Oh, he couldn’t wait to show you that.

In no time, you were both naked, he was on top of you, spreading your legs apart and pressing his knee between your legs as his wet kisses made their way down. He could hear your breathing quicken. The kisses started from your neck first, moved between your chest and down to your stomach, lingering there for a bit, and then stopped when he reached your pussy, breathing hotly on your clit and hearing the small whimper coming from you. “Are you going to keep me waiting like this?” He laughed at your question, pulled away and leaned towards your face. “I’m sure you had a lot of fun when you kept me waiting, don’t I deserve to have the same?” He slid three fingers inside you without waiting, the unexpected movement made you hold your breath for a moment and you cursed. Sunoo leaned towards your ear "Don't spoil the game noona, you haven't been able to forgive yourself yet, just shut up and accept everything that comes from me." He looked into your eyes and smiled slightly, his damn smile looked so innocent, as if he wasn't destroying you with his fingers right now.

Fingers were moving slowly and just enough to drive you crazy, sometimes he would just wait inside you and make you push your hips against his fingers with desire, every time you did this he would let out a giggle and continue. He leaned down and didn't break eye contact, sucking your clit briefly "Tell me, did he make you feel better than me?" His fingers sped up with a sudden movement, you stopped yourself with a moan as you opened your mouth to answer, his fingers were curling inside you as if they knew it by heart and he was hitting your pleasure spot quickly with hard movements. He hit your clit with his tongue from time to time, doubling your pleasure, "Hm..Since I still haven't gotten an answer, I'll take that as a no." Your wetness was so bad that he could see the liquid slowly dripping down between your legs, he brought his tongue to your clit again. He moaned from time to time as he sucked it expertly, and the vibration made you make a whiny sound "Sunoo..Please don't stop." You could feel getting close, your chest rising and falling rapidly, Sunoo's fingers were constantly going in and out of you, the thought of making you cum made him moan softly, he couldn't wait to see how your juices were flowing from his fingers. Your pussy was tightening around his fingers, as he continued to hit your pleasure spot, you came on his fingers after a while. Sunoo continued to move his fingers inside you until you had leaked all your cum. You tried to close your legs whimpering. He laughed and slowly spread them apart with his other hand. “Good? I haven’t even put my dick in yet. Just yesterday you were with someone else and you were still this needy.”

He took his fingers out of you, you watched him as he went to the drawer next to the bed, you tried to catch your breath, Sunoo opened the drawer and spoke again "I wonder if I'm the reason for this neediness or if that stupid fucker didn't fuck you well enough." you looked at the vibrator he had picked up "Sunoo, that's enough, I want to feel you." Sunoo took a deep breath, forcibly opened your legs that you were trying to close again "I wonder how much I can make you scream without even having to put my dick in..." he turned on the vibrator and without going easy on you, he turned it on to full speed and brought it closer, the vibration you felt made you take a deep breath and close your eyes, the sensitivity you felt as you had just come made you whine but it was from the pain, you wrapped your hand around the wrist that was holding the vibrator and tried to push it away but it was no use, he grabbed your wrist that you were holding and leaned it against the bed and leaned over you "You let me be on top and now you're pushing me back?" he started moving the vibrator around your pussy, slowly lowering it down to your clit and earning a new moan, he leaned down to your ear, breathing on your neck "Noona...Please don't be with anyone else again hm?" he brought it back to your clit, the pleasure started to fill your body again, you knew it wouldn't be long before your second orgasm came, Sunoo whispered again "I want to be the only one who can reach you. I feel like I'm going to lose you when you're with someone else...You understand me, right?"

No, you couldn't understand, it was hard to listen to what he said with all this pleasure, when he didn't get an answer Sunoo smiled slightly knowing that you had reached the point he wanted and started to place small kisses on your cheek, the vibration on your clit would make you cum again, you let out a loud moan "Sunoo..." that's what he wanted to hear, just his name, the needy moans that spilled from your lips, he lived for this "Yeah? Are you close? Ah..see? I can make you cum a second time without even needing my dick." your whimpering increased, your stomach clenched, he chuckled at how devastated you were. “I’ll be the only one who makes you feel this way every time, noona…You can’t change that fact.” It didn’t take long for you to come after those words, Sunoo stopped the vibrator and put it aside, letting you recover for a while.

You looked at him with slightly open eyes, you were already tired "What's the point of all this?" You could barely speak, Sunoo pursed his lips in response to your question, then placed a small kiss on your lips "To make sure you don't neglect me again. You know we actually agreed that we could be with others but..Do you need others when I make you feel better than everyone else?" He looked at you with innocent eyes, yes you were with others but it was obvious that none of them made you feel as good as he did, "So you only want me to be with you?" He nodded in agreement in response to your question, one of his hands went to your belly and started caressing your body with slow touches "It's not hard, is it? I know I have everything you want and no one knows your tastes better than me." You laughed at his self-confidence or egotism, Sunoo was a boy of unpredictability and wasn't afraid to show it, you hummed and thought for a while before answering "I guess I can't say no to that, I'm sorry for neglecting you Sunoo, have you forgiven me now?" Sunoo smiled and approached you, placing a long kiss on your lips. "I forgive you... Sort of. There's still one thing left." You frowned slightly. You were about to ask what happened, but what stopped you was Sunoo's cock that he thrust inside you without waiting, the fullness inside you caused you to let out a moan. "Fuck Sunoo... I'm still so sensitive.." Sunoo buried his head in your neck and whined. "I don't care, I've been waiting for this moment since yesterday." He started moving inside you and cut off your whimpering with his kisses. He knew it would be easy to get you, just a few whimpers and you would take pity on him and say yes again. That's what he wanted, to make it seem like he needed you but make you need him. And as you were being drawn into his sweet trap every time, he knew that one day you would be completely trapped in his world.

#enhypen sunoo #enhypen smut #sunoo smut #sunoo imagines #sunoo x reader #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #kpop kinktober #sunoo hard hours #sunoo hard thoughts #enhypen imagines

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steddieas-shegoes · 10 months ago

Text

it's not ever what it looks like

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is saying you're sorry'

rated m | 3,299 words | cw: language, implied sexual content | tags: angst with a happy ending, arguing, established relationship, hurt/comfort, rock star eddie munson, teacher steve harrington, modern au, steve thinks eddie is cheating on him but HE ISN'T I PROMISE, marriage proposal

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

It wasn't the first time Steve woke up to pictures and articles about Eddie being seen with some model or actor, but it was the first time he'd actually been worried.

Eddie had been distant lately. Usually, when he was on tour, he'd call Steve on his lunch break and text him when he got off of work, and he'd try to Facetime him after his show if it wasn't in a different time zone.

But for the past week or so, he had excuses. They sounded legitimate until one of the afternoons he said the band was caught up in an interview so he couldn't call and Jeff called him ten minutes later to ask where Eddie was. Even with that, Steve hadn't assumed he was cheating.

Steve figured maybe Eddie was just tired or his social battery had run out. Those kinds of things happened before occasionally.

But not daily for over a week.

He was barely even responding to texts, and the ones he did respond to were hours later and hardly adding to any conversation.

And now this article.

There was a picture of Eddie standing with his arm around some guy who was taller than him, both of them laughing, looking at each other like...well. Steve knew that look because it'd only ever been pointed at him, but now he was seeing it pointed at just some guy.

The headline read EDDIE MUNSON GIVING UP HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART FOR SUPERMODEL SUPERSTAR?

Steve decided the only way through this was to read the entire article. At least then he could probably convince himself they were wrong.

Except the article went on to explain how Eddie hadn't brough Steve to any shows yet this tour, and how he'd been flirting more with the crowd after the show instead of just during it, how he was seen at two bars over the last week when he usually doesn't go out after shows.

It went on to say that these pictures were taken shortly after they'd been seen sneaking away from a group of people they'd been hanging out with and that they seemed very close for the entire night. The article said the guy was a male lingerie model who made it big posing for Gucci last year. He'd just landed his first film role as a supporting actor and was looking to land a lead role soon.

Steve hated him. And he was getting a terrible feeling in his gut about what was going on.

He had 26 unread texts, most of them from Robin, Dustin, and Gareth.

All of them had said mostly the same things:

I can't get ahold of Eddie.

He wouldn't do this.

Something else is going on.

Call me when you can.

The last one was Gareth, and it's not that he and Gareth weren't close, but they never talked on the phone.

He tried not to think about he didn't have a single message or missed call from Eddie.

Steve called Gareth.

"Steve. Shit, I'm glad you called."

"What's going on?"

Gareth sighed. "Ed's kinda losing it. But before you call him-"

"Why would I call him? Shouldn't he be the one to call me? If he wants to be with some supermodel, he should probably be the one to break up with me, right?" Steve could feel tears gathering in his eyes, stinging the back of his throat. "I'm not sure why I have to be the one to hurt and do the breaking up."

"Steve-"

"Is there something you needed Gareth? Or were you just trying to defend your friend?"

"There's nothing to defend! I swear-"

"Yeah. Well. Tell him to call me if he wants to explain anything, I guess."

Steve hung up just before a sob ripped from his throat.

He never had to worry about Eddie being a famous rock star, spending 6-7 months of the year gone, meeting all kinds of flashy celebrities. Eddie loved him so much, he never had any doubt that he'd always be his first choice.

Until now.

It was a shitty feeling and he had to be at work in less than an hour.

No time to wallow.

He sent a quick text to Robin to let her know he was okay, but needed to focus on getting through work, then shut off his phone.

"Is everything okay?" the art teacher, Mrs. Phineas, asked him on their lunch break. "You seem out of it today."

"Just a migraine," Steve gave a half-smile, hoped it was enough to convince her to leave him alone. He still hadn't turned on his phone, and at this point, he didn't really want to.

She tilted her head to the side. "When are you off to see your man?"

"Don't know," he shrugged, ignoring the tug in his stomach, the sudden weight in his chest.

"Ah," she said, turning back to her soup. "Something happened."

"Nothing happened!"

"You look two seconds away from crying," she gave him a deadpan look. "Did he hurt you?"

Mrs. Phineas was a little older than Wayne, close to retirement, and had been his closest friend from the moment he started teaching at this school nearly six years ago. He'd told her everything about Eddie, their relationship, his hopes of Eddie taking a longer break after this tour so they could have some time just the two of them, maybe make a real plan for their future.

Steve nodded once.

Her hand covered his and she squeezed his fingers in her own. "I may not know him half as well as I know you, but I know that boy loves you. You two will get through this, whatever it is."

"I dunno if we will," Steve whispered, scared to speak louder and risk the tears falling. He'd been doing so well today.

She patted his hand and went back to eating, saying nothing else about it.

His students had caught on early that he wasn't quite his usual self, and the group of second graders had been on their best behavior because of it. As the dismissal bell rang and he started calling for bus riders to line up, someone walked through his door.

Eddie walked through his door.

He bit back the anger, knowing his students loved Eddie and wouldn't know he was here for any reason other than to say hello.

"Mr. Munson!" A few of them yelled as most of them ran up to him instead of getting in the line Steve asked them to.

"Hi kiddos!" Eddie was faking it, but luckily the students couldn't tell. "Sorry, but you guys have to listen to Mr. H right now. I promise I will come say hi again tomorrow."

The students grumbled about it and Steve took in his appearance.

He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept the night before, his hair was in a messy bun instead of perfectly arranged to fall on his shoulders, and he was wearing Steve's hoodie that had suspiciously gone missing the last time he'd been home.

The fact that Steve's first thought was how badly he wanted to pull him into a hug was not a good sign.

He checked names off the list as they filtered out the door and then called the car riders to line up. He went through the list and made sure everyone made it into the hall where they'd be called when their parent pulled up before turning back to Eddie.

He closed his door and made his way to his desk, ignoring the way Eddie awkwardly stood by one of the student desks in the front.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, signing off of his work email and organizing tomorrow's lesson plan.

"I needed to explain-"

"Right."

"That article wasn't supposed to come out yet."

Steve's jaw dropped. So he wasn't going to deny it, he was just gonna act like it was the media's fault for releasing it before he could talk to Steve.

"Yeah. So you decided to come break up with me in person because you got caught cheating instead of doing it over the phone right before the article hit online. Got it."

Steve was not going to cry about this. Not in front of Eddie.

He was going to go home, shower, try to eat something, and then he was going to cry for the next 10 hours.

"No, Steve, you don't understand."

"You're right, I don't. I don't understand how you could throw away a 10 year relationship for a model who doesn't even know your middle name. I don't understand how you can fly all the way here and interrupt my day at my job to try to explain to me why you were so cozy with a guy who doesn't even know that you like your hot chocolate with Bailey's instead of regular milk. I really don't understand how you couldn't even bother to text or call me one single time since the article to even try to explain anything." Steve wiped his eyes furiously, angry that his tears were betraying him. "I don't understand why you would expect me to care for reasons."

Eddie wordlessly picked Steve's phone up off the desk and powered it on. He set it down in front of Steve and waited.

Texts and calls and emails came through all at once, hundreds of notifications lighting up his screen.

Many of them from Eddie himself.

"Go ahead. Open them," Eddie didn't sound mad, he just sounded resigned.

So Steve read through the texts, many of them different renditions of 'please Steve, call me' and 'I love you sweetheart I'm sorry.' Not promising.

But then he started playing the voicemails.

"Stevie, it's really not what it looks like. It's never what it looks like. You know that. Please call me as soon as you can. I love you."

"I can explain everything if you call me back. I promise you it isn't anything more than a business thing. Everyone in the band can tell you. I swear. Just. Please."

"I'm getting on a flight to you now. I'm gonna keep trying to call you even when I land. I need you to know what's going on."

"Just landed. I'm on my way to you. The guys are a little pissed, but you're more important than the show tonight. I'm not doing my own thing until I know you understand."

Steve looked up at him, tears still falling down his face.

"Well?" He asked, broken.

"His name is Wyatt. He's trying to make it in the acting world and he was pretty much told he was the top choice for playing lead in a movie that's in early stages of development," Eddie spoke quickly.

"Great for him."

"It's actually great for all of us. The movie is a biopic of Corroded Coffin. He's expected to play me."

At any other time, Steve would be proud, he'd be jumping up and down at this chance for them, and he'd be kissing Eddie without a care in the world.

But he still saw that picture and that article, and no matter how much "business" was going on, it was pretty clear that wasn't all that was going on.

"So you thought sleeping with him would help him get into the role? Or did you just wanna get into him?" Steve bit back.

"The article was wrong! The picture was just really conveniently timed! You know the media are vultures, Stevie. How many times have they written about us breaking up? How many times have they said Gareth and I have secretly been married for the last two years? How many times have they tried to post shitty things about your relationship before me to prove that you can't possibly be queer?" Eddie pulled Steve to his feet and cupped his face in his hands. "I've been spending the last two weeks talking with him and the producer and the guys to see what might work best for production. They want us involved in as much of the writing and filming part as possible. And he had time in his schedule to come to a show last night, so we all took him out after so he could get a taste of what it's like for us. He's really excited for the role and all of us are really excited for the movie."

Steve felt stupid. Well, maybe not stupid. His feelings were valid and he wasn't dramatic about what he'd seen.

But he did feel a little shitty about doubting Eddie.

Eddie, who had literally flown across the country to explain in person so that there was no way Steve could misunderstand him. Eddie, who once Doordashed him soup from his favorite restaurant when he was sick even though he was in Europe. Eddie, who sent letters to the kids in his class once a month to talk about how important music is and following your dreams. Eddie, who loved him for ten years and wouldn't have let anyone get in the way of what they'd built.

Steve fell against Eddie, buried his face in his neck and his hands in his shirt. Eddie's arms wrapped around him, his voice saying something against his shoulder. Steve couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t think he needed to.

He just needed to feel him.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said against his neck. Tears soaked the hoodie under him, and Steve could feel tears against his own button down. “I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone until the article hit, but I was still gonna call you and warn you but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. This is part of the whole lifestyle. I should be used to it,” Steve shuddered as Eddie’s hand scratched at his scalp. “I should’ve reacted better.”

“We both didn’t treat this the way we should’ve.”

Steve snorted, nodded as he found the spot Eddie had tattooed on his neck a couple years earlier. He pressed his lips over the tattoo of his lip print.

“You flew across the country over this,” Steve pulled away and looked at Eddie, vision blurred from crying. “Just to make things okay.”

“I needed you to know. I needed to hold you. I needed to have you in front of me. And I wanted to celebrate the fact that we’re getting a movie about our lives,” Eddie smirked. “I wonder who will play you. Someone with a nice ass is a must. Their hair will have to defy gravity. Don’t know if they’ll find anyone with that smile, though.”

“Me? Why would they need anyone to play me?” Steve played with the string of the hoodie. “That might be kinda boring.”

“How would they make a movie about me and not include you? You’re the reason I ever made it past Hawkins, sweet thing,” Eddie leaned in to kiss his bottom lip. “Maybe they’ll just cast you. No one else could pull it off.”

“Eds-“ Steve blushed. “Wait. Okay, I trust you, but what were you doing in the picture?”

Eddie laughed. “He had just finished telling me about his boyfriend who lives in Italy. He’s apparently just a regular guy in finance who has no interest in the whole fame thing. Sound familiar?”

“Sounds like you two have a lot in common.”

“The picture was me asking if we could crash at their home in Italy next summer on our honeymoon,” Eddie said casually.

Steve froze. “Honeymoon?”

“I’m open to other places, but you still haven’t been to Italy and I know how much you wanted to see Rome and Florence,” Eddie was smirking.

That bastard.

“You are ridiculous, you know that? I’m over here planning how I’ll survive a breakup with you and you fly across the country to propose with a honeymoon planned before I’ve even said yes! You know how crazy that sounds, right?” Steve shook his head. “You’re lucky I love you. You’re lucky I’m not interested in big romantic gestures.”

“Damn. Hold on, let me make a call,” Eddie reached into his pocket for his phone.

“What?”

“I gotta cancel the big romantic gesture,” Eddie explained as he typed furiously on his phone.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It was a whole thing. Robin was involved. There may have been 500 flowers ordered. I think it’s too late to cancel the singing telegram though.”

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being serious,” Steve wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of that was true.

“Oh, I’m serious. The ring was being set on the bed in the middle of a heart made of rose petals. I didn’t half-ass a fucking thing, angel.”

Steve pulled his phone out of his hands and set it on his desk. “Don’t cancel anything. I changed my mind. I am very much into big romantic gestures when it’s you doing them.”

“It was a team effort. I mean, I had to move it all up unexpectedly, but this was all gonna happen next month when I came home." Eddie pulled Steve into a long kiss, tongue tracing his lips. He pulled away to rest their foreheads together. "I'm not doing this just because of what happened, but I need you to know you're it for me. You've stuck by me through failing senior year, through being broke trying to book gigs all over the midwest, through the stress of our first album being released and the unexpected overnight fame, every album and tour since then, every time I've had to miss things that matter to you because of the band, all of it. You love me anyway. I don't always deserve it, but I'm grateful."

Steve's lips pressed against Eddie's again. "I love the life we have. I love you."

"I'm not asking you without the ring. I made so many plans. Robin will murder me in my sleep if I don't go through with them," Eddie laughed. "So can we get out of your classroom before I do something inappropriate and get you fired?"

"I mean," Steve glanced at the clock. "Technically all the students should be gone. We could lock the door..."

"Steven Harrington! How dare you suggest I fuck you over your desk in a school! I can't believe you would tell me to unbutton your jeans," he said as he unbuttoned his jeans. "And get on my knees." He got on his knees. "And suck you until you can't stand anymore."

"Eddie!" Steve chuckled, shoving his hand in Eddie's hair. "We should at least lock the door."

"So you're not saying no?"

"Why would I say no?"

"That's what I'm saying!" Eddie got back up and ran to the door, flipping the lock and turning back to Steve with flushed cheeks. "This is like, maybe three of my biggest fantasies in one, so I may actually come in my pants."

"You're ridiculous."

"Baby boy, my hand is my only friend on tour, you know that. How can I possibly hold myself back when I've got your dick in my mouth?" Eddie dropped to his knees again, looking up at Steve with something close to reverence.

"It's not in your mouth yet," Steve smirked as he tugged his waistband down enough to free his cock.

"Oh, I missed you," Eddie said directly to Steve's hard cock. "Steve, I want you to fuck my mouth until I pass out."

"I'm not doing that."

"Okay, well I'll settle for until I have to tap out."

"Fine. But it's not gonna be long for me," Steve shook his head. "Missed you, too."

"The sooner the better, sweetheart."

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth #love is saying you're sorry #angst with a happy ending #established relationship #hurt/comfort #rock star eddie munson #teacher steve harrington #arguing #modern au #marriage proposals

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milkywaydrabbles · 1 year ago

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19/21 and 26 with........Haitani's!?!?!??! 🫣🫣🫣

I just can't stop thinking of them 😩😩

A/N: It was a little hard for me to start this one ngl, I was unsure how I'd be able to write the brothers sharing like THIS but I guess it's okay. I hope you enjoy it!! I brought the exhibitionsim out more with the enjoyment of being recorded instead of a public setting or someone else actively watching (the ending also kind of ties back into it) ANYWAYS MWUAH

Double penetration (one hole)/threesome/exhibitionism x Haitani Ran, Haitani Rindou

“Ran you fuck--didn’t you ever learn how to share?” The younger Haitani snarled, shoving the older brother away from you. “It’s my turn.”

You don’t know how you got in between them--two of the most dangerous men in the entire country. You’ve heard stories of the terrors they got into when they were younger in Roppongi, how they climbed the ranks through different gangs, how they ended up as executives for the nastiest crime syndicate on this side of the world. It should terrify you, really, how you’ve gotten yourself tied up with these men. They could throw you away in an instant, kill you if you looked at them wrong--make you disappear from the life you know and use you as a drug mule. A thousand things can go wrong.

And yet, you can’t help but smile whenever you’re with them.

You landed a job as a bartender in one of their clubs, normal job for the most part. You’d go in, do a bit of flirting, fight off a few way too drunk guys, and go home. You had no idea you’d been being watched for the better part of three weeks by the brothers themselves. You didn’t know what kind of place the club was until well after they formally introduced themselves as the co-owners, the Haitani brothers. Even then, you treated them the same way you’ve treated any other boss-with respect, but minimal interactions (as best you could, anyways.) They liked that, how you didn’t try to get money out of them, or sleep with them. They liked to keep it playful with their staff, but the women (and men!) would throw themselves immediately and it was such a turn off--Rindou would usually fire them the night after. They kept showing up at the clubs during your shifts, keeping a close eye on you. Ran started becoming bold and flirting with you on the job, which you brushed off as best you could.

It wasn’t until an unruly patron tried to grab you after your shift that the men really intervened with you, Ran pulling you close into his chest to shield you (kind of) as Rindou pulled the trigger between the pig’s eyes and called in a cleaning crew to get rid of the body. It was then that you understood who they were, who really owned the club. They steadied themselves to hear grating screaming come from you, girls were usually scared after seeing something like that. Instead, you wrapped your arms around Ran tight, gripping at the back of his shirt and letting out a shaky ‘thank you’ before steadying yourself and (attempting) to go home for the night.

They hadn’t left you alone since.

And now you find yourself caught in between them most nights after your shift, in one of their beds. Tonight was different, you’ve noticed, because Ran started pulling out his phone and setting it up on the dresser across from the bed. “Mind if we record it, pretty girl?” His voice always sent shivers down your spine. “Go ahead-” your voice came out shakier than you hoped, hearing the younger brother attached to your neck chuckle. “Already so worked up, baby, barely even started.” He teased, kissing and biting at the juncture of your shoulder, fingers dipping underneath the band of your underwear. You whimpered, fingers combing through his wild locks and tugging at the root, bringing him up from your neck enough to press your lips against his--all tongue and teeth as he bit down on your lower lip leaving you breathless. He took the opportunity of your parted lips to shove his tongue in your mouth, licking at your own. You tried to keep up with his overwhelming pace, suckling on the tip of his tongue making him groan. “Fuuck baby, got so lucky with you didn’t we?” Rindou’s voice was ragged, much different than the smoothness of Ran’s--his was nearly scratchy in the best way possible. It made your hair stand up on the back of your neck. His hands came up to your throat, one wrapping around the back while the other grasped at your lower jaw, keeping you attached to him. You felt two taps on your ass cheek, and hands prying your underwear lower until it hit your knees. “Come on pretty, help me out and take these off.” Ran joined in, and you lifted each knee one at a time off the bed to let him remove the clothing fully. Your hands clawed at Rindou’s chest, trying to keep yourself afloat as the elder Haitani pressed open mouth kisses on your shoulder blades, trailing to your back. “Don’t think we can ever let you go, sweet girl.” Ran mumbled against your skin, raking his nails over the fronts of your thighs towards your weeping cunt. You broke away from Rindou enough to gasp for breath, nose to nose when you let out a small cry at the feeling of Ran’s hand slapping at your clit.

Your lower half jolted away from the stimulation, but when Ran pressed himself against your back you had no choice but to take each smack he gave you. “Gotta take everything I give you, angel. Now be good for me, yeah?” Two fingers suddenly shoved themselves deep into your pussy, and Rindou had pressed his lips back to yours to muffle your cries. Even after all the times you’ve been in their beds, their fingers are a stretch to begin with. You’re dripping wet, but his fingers are so long they hit so deep. Ran starts off slow, sucking hickies into your shoulders and neck as he finger fucks you, smiling against your skin when he feels you fucking yourself back onto him. “There you go, beautiful~” He coos, scissoring his fingers inside of you rubbing at your walls so good. Your closed eyes open to look at Rindou in front of you, eyes already wild as he watches you meet each thrust of his brother’s fingers. A hand traveled lower from your jaw to grasp fully at your throat, fingers wrapping around and squeezing. “You can take some more, right baby?” Your eyes fluttered, barely able to nod while he was holding onto you like this, mouth dropping open.

Rindou pressed his thumb against your nub, unable to move you had no choice but to take the stimulation--spit pooling at the corners of your mouth the same way tears did in your eyes. “R-Rindou-aah, please” You begged, though your brain couldn’t conceptualize why. A harsh smack to your ass left you squealing. “I’m here too, pretty.” You could hear the jealousy in Ran’s voice, and you knew you were right when you saw Rindou smirking. “Do better and maybe she won’t forget.” A slew of curses left Ran’s mouth before smacking at your ass again. “S-sorry! I’m sorry, Ran, I didn’t forget--honest.” You whimpered, doing your best to turn away from Rindou and crane your neck to look at Ran over your shoulder. “Aw, I know sweetheart. Gimme a kiss.” You occupied yourself with kissing Ran, who kissed you much slower than his counterpart. While Rindou was a wildfire, Ran was like flowing water. He kissed you slow and steady, taking his time to lick at your mouth and taste you. While Rindou was overwhelming, Ran was dizzying. Regardless of who was on you at any moment, they made you feel just as good.

Ran kept you distracted enough for Rindou to push his ring and middle finger into your cunt alongside his brother’s fingers--filling you and stretching more than they had in the past. “Oh fuck” You breathed out, trying yout best to keep up with Ran but Rindou was shoving himself into you so harshly already it was difficult to breathe. Rindou’s fingers were thicker than the elder brother, filling you up as Ran’s fingers hit deep. Ran let you go, and you turned down to see Rindou’s fingers pumping in and out of you, juices oozing onto his fingers with each fuck. Your forehead hit his chest, a hand reaching back and grasping at Ran’s wrist for some sick form of grounding--spreading your legs more to give them easier access to your sloppy pussy. “S’this feel good, baby?” Rindou questioned, curling his fingers towards that gummy spot in your cunt. “A-ah, yeah, fuck, yeah” You whimpered, clenching around their sets of fingers. Ran laughed behind you, “Yeah? Like when we fuck you with our fingers, angel? You want more?” Nodding against Rindou’s chest, they removed their fingers from your cunt--creaminess covering their hands. “Look at that~” Ran whistled, making a show of spreading his fingers and letting your stickiness web between them. He turned your head towards the camera, and the brother’s chuckled seeing how fucked out you looked in the camera. “Lick ‘em clean, beautiful.” Ran spoke first, presenting his fingers in front of your face as you greedily sucked at them, taking them deep into your mouth to the knuckle and making sure you sucked them clean. You watched yourself in the front camera lapping at his digits, clenching your pussy around air. When Ran pulled his fingers out you immediately turned to Rindou and stuck your tongue out--expectantly. “What a good girl you are” He teased, shoving his fingers into your mouth until you gagged, and turned you to face the camera again. “Go ahead baby.” Stray tears fell down your cheeks as you licked around his spread fingers tasting yourself on him.

Ran moved off the bed to bring the phone closer, now on the night stand as he laid down, bringing you with him. You understood immediately what he wanted, and lined yourself up to his cock as he filmed you lowering yourself. He bit his tongue holding back a moan while your pretty sounds filled the air, steadying yourself on his chest before your arms are ripped back behind you. “Come on baby, you can do it right?” Rindou taunted, kissing at your shoulders while you kept a steady pace bouncing on Ran’s cock. The older brother had the camera right at your hole, watching the way your pussy swallowed him up and drooled around the corners with your juices. His free hand held onto your hip, Rindou pulling you back to lean more against him as Ran started meeting each bounce on his lap with a thrust of his own, a webbing of white covering his dick each time he pulled out. “Fuck baby, look so good taking my cock. You think you can take another one?” You weren’t sure you understood, and before you had time to think more about the question the phone was placed back down on the stand and Rindou pushed you towards the other, Ran grabbing at your face and making a scene of kissing you sloppy in view of the camera. “Look at yourself, pretty baby.” He whispered against your ear, holding you by the jaw towards the camera when you started feeling Rindou prodding at your already stretched out cunt with his own cock. Your eyes squeezed closed with your brows scrunched, mouth hanging open as he pushed himself into your hole alongside Ran. “Ooh my god, fuck! S’much, wait--wait it’s so much!” You cried out, Ran slapping you lightly on your cheek to get your attention.

“Open your eyes, pretty girl. Look at yourself while you get fucked by us.” Your eyes were fuzzy, unable to fully focus as you watched yourself drool, tongue lolling out and tears rolling down your cheeks as Rindou filled you inch by inch. You should be embarrassed, feel shame as they made you watch yourself like this--being used by two dangerous men. But you couldn’t feel anything except turned on, looking at your own reflection drooling and crying uncontrollably on their cocks filling you more than they ever have. You subconsciously tightened your walls around them, and their groans filled the air. “Fuck! So fucking horny watching yourself, huh baby?” Rindou snickered, leaning over and angling the camera to your lower bodies, pulling you up for a clear angle of both cocks pumping in and out of your pussy. Just like you did Ran’s, Rindou’s cock was covered in your creamy cunt, squelching and gushing with each pap, pap, pap of their cocks fucking up into you. You couldn’t do much but take it, sobbing with overwhelming pleasure as they used you like a sleeve. Rindou’s fingers came around your front to rub and pinch at your swollen nub, and in no time he had you crying out and creaming over them, each push in and pull out of their cocks leaving with a squish. Ran’s hands had a strong grip on your hips as he fucked up into you, and last minute pulling out to cum on your tummy, painting your front white with his cum.

With only Rindou now inside your cunt he quickened his pace and fucked you harder, tugging at your biceps and pulling your arms back as leverage. Ran moved the phone again, for full access to your body and face as the younger brother left you a mess. “Ready for me, baby?” He grunted behind you and you nodded with a sob, suddenly feeling him leave your pussy and make a mess on your ass, grabbing the phone from his brother and recording him slap his cock on your ass, smearing his mess around. Giving the phone back, Ran recorded up to your face now. “Smile at the camera, pretty girl.” Panting, you looked up at yourself again in the phone, lazy smile playing on your lips--fucked stupid. Ran scooped his cum on a finger while you were still watching yourself and lifted it to your mouth, watching you lick him clean and sticking your tongue out as proof.

He stopped the recording and Rindou lowered you onto the bed, mumbling to himself how ‘gross’ it was to share a hole like that with his brother. “Whatever dude--she felt good.” Ran called over to the younger Haitani as he left to grab something to wipe you down with. “You good, baby?” He whispered to you, smoothing down your hair as you nodded with a smile. He fiddled with his phone as Rindou wiped you clean, kissing your forehead and praising how good of a job you did for them. His phone pinged, before Ran spoke saying “Sent it to you.” When he finally took a look he saw it was in the group chat they had with Sanzu, snapping his head up to look at his brother who already had a grin like the devil and shrugged.

“Oops.”

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sideprince · 1 year ago

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Eileen Prince

I'm relentlessly curious about how a witch from Slytherin, a house that values cunning and ambition on paper, and bloodlines/nobility in its culture, ended up living in a muggle slum.

Unfortunately for me, she's a barely mentioned character written by an author who consistently fails to portray female characters with depth or dimension. The women in Harry Potter are portrayed as either maternal or villains, or, in Ginny Weasley's case, as redeemed by their masculine traits (because Rowling's Thatcher era feminism dictates that equality for women = emulating patriarchal ideas of manhood). About as much as you can expect from an author who's as unable to acknowledge the personhood of trans women as she is to write women as actual people. This leaves a lot of room for interpreting or delving into what Eileen Prince's life may have looked like, and how that would have affected her son's development.

There are three direct mentions of Eileen in the text :

“The picture showed a skinny girl of around fifteen. She was not pretty; she looked simultaneously cross and sullen, with heavy brows and a long, pallid face. Underneath the photograph was the caption: Eileen Prince, Captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones Team.”

HBP Ch. 25

“I was going through the rest of the old Prophets and there was a tiny announcement about Eileen Prince marrying a man called Tobias Snape, and then later an announcement saying that she’d given birth to a" “ — murderer,” spat Harry.

HBP ch. 30

“Harry looked around: he was on platform nine and three-quarters, and Snape stood beside him, slightly hunched, next to a thin, sallow-faced, sour-looking woman who greatly resembled him.”

DH Ch. 33

(Shoutout to Harry James Potter, who didn't recognize Eileen's fifth year photo despite her resemblance to Snape, the teacher whose classroom he got his used Potions book from. Shoutout also to Harry James Potter who didn't connect the dots between the Prince's handwriting and Snape's, a teacher who regularly wrote instructions on the board. "I needed to make the plot work, ok?" - JK Rowling, probably.)

Other relevant excerpts:

“Snape staggered - his wand flew upwards, away from Harry - and suddenly Harry’s mind was teeming with memories that were not his: a hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner ”

OoTP Ch. 26

“Harry delved into his trunk and pulled out his copy of Advanced Potion-Making before getting into bed. There he turned its pages, searching, until he finally found, at the front of the book, the date that it had been published. It was nearly fifty years old.”

HBP Ch. 16

Supplemental material re: Gobstones from JK Rowling:

"...it remains a minority sport within the wizarding world, and does not enjoy a very ‘cool’ reputation, something its devotees tend to resent. Gobstones is most popular among very young wizards and witches, but they generally ‘grow out’ of the game, becoming more interested in Quidditch as they grow older. ... Gobstones enjoys limited popularity at Hogwarts, ranking low among recreational activities, way behind Quidditch and even Wizarding Chess." [There's an additional sentence on the Harry Potter wiki's Gobstones page: "...it is also known as 'the thinking wizard's Quidditch.'"]

A few conclusions can be drawn from what little information we're given about Eileen:

She's described as "cross and sullen" around the age of 15, and as "sallow-faced, sour-looking" when she's older.

She's captain of the Gobstones club around her fifth year, so she likely marched to the beat of her own drum - given that Gobstones isn't particularly popular - and owns it proudly enough to take, or even seek out, a leadership role.

The sport is described as "the thinking wizard's Quidditch" which would imply Eileen was more interested in intellectual challenges and was clever (and can be paralleled with a young Severus' comment about "if you'd rather be brawny than brainy" to James Potter when they first meet on the Hogwarts Express).

Her marriage and the birth of her son are both announced in the paper, which might mean the family she came from was of some importance or note, or perhaps something else... but we'll get to that.

If we assume that Severus' secondhand copy of Advanced Potion Making was originally Eileen's (reasonable, though there is no textual evidence) then its publication date is likely around the time she was a sixth year, given that this particular text was specific to students beginning to prep for N.E.W.T. exams. Harry begins his sixth year in 1996 when the book is "nearly fifty years old," so we can assume Eileen was 16 years old sometime not long after 1946. Severus was born in 1960, which would mean Eileen was in her mid-late 20s at the time.

Her marriage was dysfunctional at best, abusive at worst. As per a Pottermore post that is still up on WizardingWorld.com: "...the desperately lonely and unhappy childhood [Severus] had with a harsh father who didn’t hold back when it came to the whip." Based on this, we can assume Tobias was abusive, and given Eileen's cowering as he shouted at her, she presumably feared him.

From these bits of information emerges the image of a woman who either had a surly personality, or at the very least was guarded, though perhaps just formal. There isn't really any difference in how her face is set when she's in an everyday setting like King's Cross, or when she's having her picture taken for the Gobstones Club. It's possible she was a stern, unsmiling person, but it's also possible - given that her wedding and child were announced in the paper - that she came from a family of some standing and was raised to conduct herself with hallmarks of British class, such as dignity and unaffectedness. After all, there are several wizarding families - such as the Potters - who are wealthy purebloods with social standing but are not part of the Sacred 28. Additionally, the Gobstones Club portrait would have been taken around the mid-1940s, when portraits were formal and their subjects did not often smile, and given that we see only a snippet of Eileen, we don't have enough information that she was unhappy or sour. It's also important to remember that we see her portrait and Snape's memory of her through Harry's perspective and, like his perception of Snape himself, this may convey Harry's biases.

We also know from the text that Snape had a house in a deserted part of Cokeworth, a fictional Midlands town that presumably had a collapsed milling industry, at the end of a street called Spinner's End. There's a great thread that goes into details about the kind of 2 up 2 down house it would have been, and we can assume that this is Snape's family home given that we know he and Lily grew up in Cokeworth. For all intents and purposes, the conclusion we can draw from this being the Snape family's home in the 60s is that they were working class and cripplingly poor. Most estates like this had been cleared by the 60s, and no longer exist today.

This begs the question: how did a witch from a possibly well-off family end up in an abusive marriage in an irrelevant slum?

Buckle up kids, we're leaving the world of textual references and veering into deep meta territory now. I won't label any of this as head canon because I'm not set on these interpretations, and am just drawing conclusions from the text, but some of it may be a bit loose even for meta.

If Eileen was 16 years old not long after 1946, then she would have finished school in the late 40s, possibly even 1950. While some people (including past me) posit the theory that Tobias may have been injured in WWII and his injuries debilitated him, forcing him to go on the dole and affecting his mental health, I'm increasingly skeptical of this theory. It would make more sense if Eileen had known him before he was drafted/enlisted and had committed to a relationship with him, which would then have changed when he came back from the war and was altered. If we assume Eileen's age based on the idea that it was her own copy of Advanced Potion Making Severus used, then she would still have been at school during WWII (which makes an interesting parallel with Severus' own experience of spending the bulk of the first wizarding war against Voldemort as a student at school).

I do think, however, that there's merit in the theory that Tobias suffered some kind of altering injury and that he wasn't necessarily abusive before Eileen committed herself to him. It makes little sense for a Slytherin graduate who was confident and self-posessed enough to be the face of an unpopular club to be drawn to a partner so abusive his shouts caused her to cower and who whipped his child freely. If, however, he was a charming, happy man when they met who suffered a life-altering injury, the trauma of which left him a shell of his former self, then someone like Eileen might stick around for the sake of the parts of his old self she can still see in him.

It's interesting that she didn't seem to use her magic to protect herself or her son, or even to dress her son in clothing that fit, but we know from the text that depression can cause a wizard's powers to wane:

“...it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; that can happen”

HBP Ch. 13 (Dumbledore talking about Merope Gaunt)

The fact that the Snapes retained the house in Spinner's End seems to indicate that they continued to live there even when the local industry dried up and the slum was cleared as workers were moved to other parts of the country where they were needed (presumably what happened given *gestures at British history*). The most likely explanation for this would be that Tobias wasn't able to work, and perhaps did suffer an injury, only it was at work, and not during the war. This would mean the family lived on the dole (ie. welfare) and also that he would have spent a lot more time at home. It would also explain his anger and frustration that led to abusive behavior (which isn't to say that disabled people are abusive by any means, but it would have been emasculating for a man who considered himself the breadwinner in the 60s, and chronic pain coupled with limited abilities would give anyone a short fuse).

Moreover, this living situation seems to indicate that there is no additional support coming from anywhere. Where is Eileen's family? Why were they not helping? There's no indication in the text that there is any connection with them at all. We can infer from Snape's memories that, as a child, he learned what he knew about the magical world from his mother. This implies that she talked to him about it a fair amount, and his conviction that he and Lily were going to Hogwarts well before they got their letters also implies that Eileen expected him to go there and was set on her son having a magical education, despite how little she seemed to use her own powers.

Severus knows a lot about the wizarding world as a child, including that prisoners are sent to Azkaban and that it's guarded by Dementors, Hogwarts' house structure and what to expect when he and Lily get there, and about the Statute of Secrecy and the laws around it. When Lily asks him if it makes a difference being Muggleborn, Severus hesitates before replying no, presumably because he's aware of pureblood bias being a part of wizarding culture.

Perhaps that's the reason Eileen's family doesn't seem to be in the picture. My own theory is that Eileen hadn't planned to commit herself to Tobias long-term, and Severus was an accidental outcome of an innocent tryst in which a young Eileen, an educated witch from a well to do pureblood family, was having fun slumming it with a working class muggle and ended up pregnant. While we don't know the wizarding world's attitude around pregnancy and abortion, we do know it's a conservative and classist society that parallels muggle British culture fairly closely, and that the late 50s/early 60s were a time when an out of wedlock baby would have been considered a disgrace.

Add to that the anti-muggle bias of a pureblood family and it sounds like Eileen was disowned her for her mistake (and don't @ me, but even though I know that not all Slytherins are purebloods, it does seem to be a persistent cultural value of the house reaching back to Salazar Slytherin himself, so Eileen's being sorted into it can reasonably be taken as an indication of her blood status). Perhaps the marriage and birth announcements in the Daily Prophet were put in by Eileen herself, if she was a woman from a family where this was customary. It may have been her way of letting her family know of the events, or even of asserting herself and even deliberately defying them, announcing to the whole wizarding world that a Prince married and had a child with a muggle. It makes sense that the girl who wasn't just in the Gobstones club, but became captain, would also say to herself, why shouldn't I have my marriage announced in the paper like everyone else in the family?

It's worth noting that mid-late 20s is pretty young to have a baby in the wizarding world, where the life expectancy and child bearing years are much longer than they are for a muggle. According to the Harry Potter wiki:

"Wizard life expectancy in Britain reached an average 137¾ years in the mid-1990s, according to the Ministry of Divine Health ... Wizards in general have a much longer life expectancy than Muggles, usually living two or three times as long as their non magical counterparts, some living even longer than that depending on circumstances. In addition, seeing as James Potter's parents had him "late in life,” witches likely have significantly longer childbearing years than Muggle women."

Although we see several characters in Severus' generation getting married and having kids not long after leaving school, there's a mention in the text that a lot of people were doing this during Voldemort's reign, as the fear he inspired made people more eager to get a move on with life since they thought they might die any day (I think Mrs. Weasley says this but I can't find the quote, @ me if you do). It's clear this wasn't the norm in the wizarding world. Eileen was a Slytherin, a house that values cunning, ambition, and strong wizarding heritage. Something must have gone very wrong in Eileen's life for her to end up having a child so young and living in a muggle slum.

And so it's possible Eileen Prince found herself pregnant and alone, having been disowned by her family to save face in light of her disgrace, and dependent on the only person she was still close to, the father of her child. It's the kind of storyline that Rowling would write, and it would parallel fairly closely the story of Voldemort's mother, thus adding another to the long list of similarities between Voldemort and Snape.

Lorrie Kim makes an interesting point when she talks about how Snape has a strong reaction to other people having a love life or romantic experiences (the context being Rowling's intention of his love for Lily being romantic and unrequited), but doesn't react particularly strongly to mothers sacrificing themselves for their children, whereas Voldemort does. Her insight, and I think it's a reasonable one, is that Severus accepts the idea of mothers making sacrifices for their children, whether it's Lily giving her life for Harry or Narcissa risking all she did to ask for his help in protecting Draco, because his own mother protected him from his father as much as she could.

There's a lot of room for interpretation on what Eileen's relationship with her son looked like, and what it says about her own state. She may have prioritized not angering Tobias to protect Severus, who as a child might have perceived her actions as a form of rejection. At the same time, she seems to have prepared him thoroughly for life in the magical world, perhaps in the hope that he would find his place in it and escape home. Perhaps she missed it and told him so much about it so she could live through her own memories.

The only time we see her argue with Tobias, in Severus' memory, she's cowering as he shouts. We know from JK Rowling that Tobias used corporal punishment liberally, which implies Eileen didn't stop him despite her magical abilities. We also see in the text, however, that while at school Severus stood up for himself against bullies and fought back, and that he was an exceptionally clever and powerful wizard. As an adult he was brave enough to face Dumbledore when he betrayed Voldemort, and later fought against Voldemort right under his nose (or lack thereof). So it stands to reason that at some point Severus began to stand up against Tobias too.

How much of that was Eileen's influence, or the result of Severus seeing her acceptance of her fate and rejecting it for himself, is hard to say. As for what happened to Tobias and Eileen that their house was Severus' by the mid-90s and they were nowhere in sight, I don't think there's enough information in the text to infer.

#meta #long post #eileen prince

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snowysosturn · 4 months ago

Text

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 11

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, tension, arguments, mention of physical fight, toxic boyfriend

Matt’s POV

The drive back to my place was suffocating. I could feel the weight of unspoken words pressing down on me. Emily was yapping away next to me, about all the sights she wanted to see in Barcelona. Alex sat in the back, his face stern as he stared out the window, lost in thought. Every now and then, I caught him shifting in his seat, hoping it was unease from regret, but he didn’t say anything about it. I could tell he was still pissed, probably still replaying the argument with Y/n in his head. I couldn’t stop thinking about it either. Her voice, filled with pain, it had left me feeling some sense of guilt. I knew he was like this, but I still didn’t reach out to her at all over the last 4 weeks.

As we pulled into the garage, I noticed the lights were still on inside. Nick and Chris were probably still awake, maybe waiting up for us. I wasn’t sure how this night was going to end, but the air felt thick with unspoken words. I couldn’t wait to get out of the car and break the tension, tension that only I was feeling. We walked into the house, and Nick was the first to greet us. He barely glanced at me before muttering a quick “Hey” and disappearing upstairs to his room. I knew he was still pissed about our argument earlier, and I couldn’t blame him. I hadn’t handled it well. Nick was protective, and when he believed something was wrong, he was like a dog with a bone. I could feel the rift between us.

Chris, on the other hand, was his usual laid back self. He came over, giving Alex a quick nod. “Hey man, you can crash in my room tonight” he said, sounding genuine. “I’ll stay in with Nick.”

“Thanks” Alex mumbled, managing a half hearted smile.

“No problem” Chris gave me a look before heading down the hall to grab his things. I wasn’t sure if he knew what was going on, but his presence was comforting in its own way.

Once Chris was gone, the three of us settled in the living room. We ordered takeout and picked a random movie on Netflix to watch, though I doubt any of us were really paying attention. Emily was curled up next to me, her head resting on my shoulder, but I couldn’t focus on the warmth of her touch. My mind kept drifting back to the argument I had overheard, the way her voice had cracked when she told him how much she had done for him.

Hours passed, and eventually, Emily yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “Think I’m gonna head to bed, we’re up early.” she said softly, her eyes heavy with exhaustion.

“Alright” I replied, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll be in in a bit.”

She nodded, giving Alex a sleepy smile before disappearing down the hallway to my room. As soon as she was out of sight, I turned to Alex, trying to gauge his mood.

“I’ll show you Chris’ room.” I said, standing up. I wanted to talk to him but not here, not with Emily so close by. I needed answers, and I needed to understand what was going on with him and Y/n. The way she sounded earlier, it was like she was at her breaking point.

Alex followed me down the stairs to Chris’ room, his footsteps heavy. The room was a little messy, with clothes scattered here and there, but being honest, Alex didn’t deserve anything more. I closed the door behind us, taking a moment to compose myself before turning to face him.

“So how’s Y/n?” I asked, my voice quieter than I intended. The question hung between us, emotionally charged with everything I wasn’t saying.

Alex snorted, shaking his head dismissively. “She’s.. whatever, man. She’s just being dramatic at the minute. I mean, I get it, she’s pissed off because I’m not spending every waking moment with her, but come on. It’s not like I’m out partying all the time or anything.”

Yeah because you can’t.

“Is she not looking after you in every sense the last few weeks? Do you not think she deserves to be appreciated?” I bit back.

Alex scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Oh, here we go. You’re blowing this way out of proportion. Y/n likes to take care of things, she’s always been like that. It’s not like I asked her to do all that.

His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I could feel my fists clenching at my sides. The way he talked about her, like she was just some annoyance, made my blood boil.

“You seriously think that just because you didn’t ask, it means you can take her for granted? She’s doing it because she cares about you Alex, and you’re treating her like she’s disposable. You can’t just brush her off like she’s nothing.”

Alex rolled his eyes, clearly not getting it. “Dude, it’s not like that. She just doesn’t get what it’s like, being on the team, having this pressure. It’s not like she’s doing anything important, she doesn’t even go to college. She’s got all this free time, so yeah, she can help me out.”

Yeah she doesn’t even go to college but is still doing your shitty work for you.

“She’s doing it because she cares about you. The least you could do is show a little appreciation. Instead, you’re acting like she’s a burden.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “You’re being dramatic. Y/n’s fine. She’s not going anywhere. She knows I’m busy. It’s not like she expects me to drop everything for her.”

I stared at him, dumbfounded. She’s not going anywhere. I now know he acts like this because he thinks she’ll never leave. If i could have my way right now, this would be Alex’s second physical fight since I’ve known him. I was so lost in my anger, that no words came out.

“She’s not some fragile little thing.” Alex shot back, a defensive edge to his voice. “She knows how it is. I’ve got my own shit to deal with. I can’t do everything she wants at the drop of a hat.”

“You’re missing the point.” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “It’s about being there for her. About showing her that she matters to you. Right now, you’re not doing that.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at me, clearly irritated. “And why do you care so much about what happens between me and Y/n? It’s none of your business, she’s my girlfriend not yours.”

Fuck why do I care so much? Why am I defending her like this to him, we haven’t even spoken in 4 weeks. How do I cover this?

“I care because she’s Emily’s friend.” I lied, hoping it would cover up the intensity of my emotions. Fuck was that the best excuse I could come up with?

“And if Emily knew how you’ve been treating Y/n, she wouldn’t be happy about it. You know that.”

Alex snorted, shaking his head. “Emily’s friend, huh? Is that all this is?”

“Yeah, that’s all it is.” I replied, my jaw tight. I had to tread carefully here. “Emily would be upset if she knew you were blowing Y/n off like this. I care about Emily. You care about Emily. Let’s not upset Emily. Oh my god I’m digging a hole right now… Say something else dumbass.

“I’m just trying to make sure things don’t get worse between you two, you know, keep the friendship group alive.”

Just stop fucking speaking.

Alex’s smirk faded, but he still didn’t look like he was taking any of this seriously. “Look, I’ll talk to Y/n, alright? I’ll smooth things over. She’ll get over it. She always does.”

“Just.. think about what I said, alright?” I muttered, taking a step back. “Before you fuck things up beyond repair.”

For a moment, we just stood there, the tension between us hitting off every wall in the room. I could see the clogs turning in Alex’s head, but instead of admitting he was wrong, he just scoffed again and turned away.

“Whatever, man. I’m tired. Let’s just drop it.”

I wanted to keep going, to make him see how much he was hurting Y/n, but I knew it would be pointless. Alex wasn’t ready to hear it, and pushing him further would only make things worse.

“Fine..” I muttered, stepping back. “Get some sleep.”

As I turned to leave, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of frustration and guilt. I knew Y/n deserved better, but I was powerless to do anything about it. The door creaked slightly as I opened it, and the sound seemed to echo in the quiet room.

Before I could leave, Alex called after me, his voice low and almost reluctant. “Matt.. I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But Y/n and I, we’ll work it out. We always do.”

I paused in the doorway, my back to him. Part of me wanted to believe him, to trust that they could fix whatever was broken between them. But another part of me, the part that had seen Y/n’s tear streaked face, couldn’t shake the feeling that things were already too far gone.

“Just don’t take her for granted” I said finally, not turning around. “She deserves better than that.”

With that, I left the room, the weight of our conversation heavy on my shoulders. Maybe I shouldn’t of said anything, this might get me in trouble. As I climbed back up the stairs, trying to shake off the conversation, I heard quick footsteps echoing down the hallway. Nick was running down the stairs from his room, clearly in a rush.

“Where are you going?” I asked, stopping in my tracks as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

Nick glanced at me, slightly out of breath. “I’m heading over to Y/n’s place. I’m gonna crash there tonight.”

I felt a hit of something..jealousy? worry?..stab at my chest. “Wait, what? Why?”

Nick shrugged, but there was something more behind his casual demeanor. “Just thought I’d check in on her, you know? With everything going on… I figured she could use some company. And honestly, I don’t really feel like staying here tonight.”

His words were like a jab, a reminder of the tension that had been hanging over all of us since earlier. “You don’t think it’s a little... weird? Just showing up at her place?” As if it’s not something I haven’t done before.

Nick gave me a knowing look, one that made my stomach twist uncomfortably. “Weird? Why would it be weird? She’s a friend, Matt. And I think she could use one right now. And besides, we’ve been texting, she knows I’m coming over, she ordered the Uber.”

He wasn’t wrong. After what I’d just heard from Alex, it was clear Y/n needed someone. I just didn’t know how I felt about that someone being Nick. How bad I desperately wanted it to be me.

“You think she’s okay?” I asked, my voice quieter now, remembering Emily is in the next room.

Nick’s expression softened, now bringing his voice to a whisper. “Honestly? I don’t know. She’s been dealing with a lot, and I don’t think Alex is really helping. I just wanna be there for her. Maybe cheer her up, get her mind off things.”

I leaned against the wall, trying to sort through the mess of emotions in my head. “What do you think’s going on with her and Alex?” As if I didn’t already know everything.

Nick hesitated, his gaze shifting slightly. “It’s not really my place to say. But from what I’ve seen, it’s not good. He’s been treating her like she’s some kind of accessory, like she’s just there to make his life easier.”

“Yeah..” I muttered, thinking back to the argument I’d just had with Alex. “He’s a total asshole.”

Nick nodded, his face serious. “Exactly. And that’s why I’m going over there. Someone needs to remind her she’s worth more than that.”

I couldn’t help but feel a sting of guilt. Here I was, tangled up in my own feelings, while Nick was stepping up to be the friend Y/n needed. “You really care about her, huh?”

Nick looked at me, his eyes earnest. “Of course I do. She’s cool, she’s fun to be around, and she’s dealing with all this shit right now. Someone’s gotta be there for her, and I’m not gonna let her go through it alone.”

There was something in the way he said it that made me pause. I realized then that Nick wasn’t just doing this out of obligation or pity, he genuinely cared about Y/n, maybe more than I’d given him credit for.

He started to walk away, but I called out after him, “Nick, wait.”

He turned back, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

I hesitated, then sighed. “Just.. take care of her, okay? I know she doesn’t show it, but she’s probably hurting more than shes letting on.”

Nick’s expression softened, and he nodded. “I will. Don’t worry.”

With that, he turned and headed for the door, leaving me standing there, a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirling inside me. I watched as he left, feeling a strange mix of relief and unease.

I walked into my room, Emily fast asleep in the middle of my bed. I tapped her ever so slightly so she would turn over onto her side, so I could get in beside her. The events of tonight replayed over in my head. It was all becoming too much.

Maybe Alex and Emily leaving the country for the next few days is a good thing..

a/n : everyone is still fightinggggg, atleast Emily and Alex are disappearing (kinda) for a bit in the next chapter..

edit: rereading this back as a chapter idk if im the happiest with it but it’ll all make sense as we go along

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties

#snowy speaks #speeding car #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x reader

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lovetaroandtaemin · 2 months ago

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Kinktober 2024

Day 26: Corruption

Mark Lee x Reader Word Count: 2,905 THIS FIC IS NSFW, MINORS DNI!!! Warnings: Religious themes, church boy!Mark x pastor's daughter!reader, kind of soft dom!reader, mentions of masturbation, loss of virginity, mentions of alcohol (reader and Mark are SOBER when they have sex!), semi-public sex (they're technically in public but no one is around to see), sex in the bed of a pickup truck. If you think I missed a warning, let me know! A/N: If you want to be tagged for the last few Kinktober fics, feel free to send an ask, send a dm, or leave a comment! I'm honestly starting to get a little bit bummed that Kinktober is almost over. This has been such a fun ride, and it always makes me so happy to see y'all interact with my stories. I also wanted to say that certain plot elements as well as Reader's personality/family life are heavily inspired by the song "Baptist Parking Lot" by Mary Heather Hickman. If you're a country music fan, I highly recommend checking it out!

Taglist: @unlikelysublimekryptonite

Fic is under the cut.

When Mark Lee approached you and asked you if you wanted to go on a date with him, you knew that your parents were behind it. They had been a lot pushier than usual when it came to your relationships lately, considering you were in your mid-twenties and not even dating. Plus, your mother and father were good friends with Mr. and Mrs. Lee, and had been since you were a kid, so in their mind Mark was the best possible choice when it came to men that they could set you up with.

You had never been close with Mark, but your parents and his were determined to change that. Mark was the kind of good Christian man that they felt was perfect for the daughter of a minister. He was kind, he was intelligent, and he loved God. Any time the church held an event he was one of the first to volunteer to help. He knew the Bible better than anyone you knew with the exception of your father. He was also an assistant youth pastor that was passionate about teaching people about the love of God. He even volunteered at an animal shelter, for fuck’s sake.

You, on the other hand, were far less innocent than you let your parents believe. You drank, smoked, went to the club, and hooked up with people you barely knew. Your behavior was far from what was expected of you, but that was probably why you acted the way you did. Growing up as sheltered as you did was suffocating, and now that you were an adult you wanted to do everything that your parents would have killed you for when you were younger. That didn’t mean they had to know, though. What would the congregation say if they knew the pastor’s own daughter acted like the exact opposite of what God expected from women?

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Mark’s voice saying, “Hello? Earth to (Y/N)?”

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Do you want to go get dinner with me this Saturday after I get done at the shelter?”

“That sounds great, Mark. What time do you get done?”

“I get done around 5, and I’ll need time to get ready. How does 6:15 sound?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then, (Y/N).”

When you said yes to a date, Mark was ecstatic. Sure, he had been encouraged to ask you out by your parents, but he had liked you for a long time. You were intelligent, you were funny, and you always spoke your mind. It was sinful, and he knew it, but he honestly thought that you were sexy too. The thoughts never lingered, more passing interest when you wore clothes that showed off your body, but they were there, nonetheless.

Saturday came, and you almost backed out of your date with Mark. The main reason you didn’t was the fact that you knew you’d never hear the end of it if you did. Truthfully, though, you would have preferred going to the club with your friends or getting drunk in the back of your current hookup’s truck. You had an image to maintain, however, so you went.

Contrary to what you were expecting, you had a lot of fun with Mark. He took you to a sort-of fancy restaurant out of town, and you talked about your lives and interests while you ate. You found that the two of you had more in common than you initially thought, like a love for older music and weird movies that no one else has ever heard of. He even made you swear not to tell anyone that he wanted to try going out to a club. In a lapse of judgement, you said, “I could take you out to my favorite one, if you want.”

The moment the words left your mouth, you regretted them. The regret turned to excitement, however, when Mark said “Ok. Do you wanna do that after we’re done here?”

“Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want to keep you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I think it’d be fun to try something new.”

His innocent excitement killed you. When he asked you if you thought that they would have Coca-Cola at the bar, you wondered if he could get any cuter. As the two of you finished your meal, you asked again if he was sure about going to the club. He said yes, and you told him you would give him directions when you got in the car.

When Mark walked you to his car, he held your hand. It was a small gesture, but you found yourself getting flustered. He opened the car door for you, and your heart did a somersault. It almost made you wonder why you bothered with hooking up with random guys when somebody that you knew could be good to you was there the entire time.

The drive to the club was silent with the exception of you giving Mark directions. You both wanted to start a conversation, but for some reason you couldn’t find where you wanted to start. It was frustrating to be at a loss for words, but you couldn’t complain. Especially when Mark looked as good as he did in the driver’s seat. You almost felt wrong saying it about someone so sweet, but he looked hot when he focused on driving. As you pulled up to the club, you wondered if you would ever get a chance to show him how sexy you were starting to think he was. You knew that he was a good Christian, so you probably wouldn’t get a chance any time soon, but you wondered if you could move that timeline up a bit.

Your time at the club was uneventful. Mark refused to drink alcohol, was shy about dancing with you, and cast judgmental looks at everyone that left with a different person than they’d arrived with. You tried to gently encourage him to lighten up and let loose a little bit, but in the end he just asked to go back home.

He drove you back to your apartment, and you thanked him for the date. He insisted on walking you to your door, but you wouldn’t have turned him down anyway. When the two of you got to your door, he shyly asked if he could kiss you. You agreed, and he hesitantly brought his lips to yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gently tangled your hands in his hair, and he loosened up ever so slightly. At least, it seemed like he did from the small moan that left his mouth.

He abruptly pulled away and apologized, and you gave him a reassuring smile and told him that it was ok. He left quickly and hoped that you didn’t notice the grin on his face or the boner beginning to form in his pants. Of course, you did, and you wondered if your goal of getting Mark to loosen up was closer than you thought.

The next day, your parents asked you how the date with Mark went. You told them that it went well, and to your surprise, you weren’t lying. You had fun with Mark, and you wanted to see him again. Sure, part of the reason you wanted to see him again was to see if you could teach him how to actually have fun, but your parents didn’t need to know that. They were thrilled that you seemed interested in who they believed was the right kind of man for you.

Over the next few weeks, you went out for dinner with Mark every weekend. Not much changed, but you did flirt with him much more openly than you initially wanted to as you started to develop genuine feelings for him. He became a blushy mess every time you told him how pretty his eyes were, or how well the clothes he was wearing fit him.

Mark refused to admit it, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep a level head when you flirted with him or kissed him. He didn’t want to sin, but he did occasionally find himself wanting to do more than kiss you or compliment the dresses you wore for your dates that drove him insane. You were usually dressed a very specific way when he saw you at church, but the way you dressed when you were out of your parents’ view was decidedly different. Not that he was complaining, of course. He thought that you looked sexy. Little did he know, that was exactly what you were going for.

The first time your attempt to get Mark to let loose was successful was after a few months of dating. The two of you were at his apartment after an afternoon spent volunteering, and he kissed you. You were determined to not push him today, and you kept to that. Mark, however, had other plans. The way he kissed you felt different than usual. Typically, his kisses were soft, almost like he was afraid of going too far. This time, those concerns seemed to go out the window as he held you close.

To say that you were desperate was an understatement. You hadn’t had sex with anyone else since you started dating Mark, and you were starting to get frustrated. You had tried getting off by yourself, but it just wasn’t the same as fucking another person. It was getting more and more difficult to not think about Mark on top of you as you kissed him.

Mark was just as desperate as you were, if not more. He had never had sex before. Partially because of the stupid purity promise he made in church as a teenager, and partially because he had never met anyone that he was comfortable being so intimate with. That was, until you came along. It felt like you were ruining him, in a way. Before you started dating, he would have never considered having someone sit on his lap while making out. Now, that was exactly what the two of you were doing.

Time passed, and you had to leave. It was important for you to get enough sleep in order to not look like a complete wreck at church on Sunday. As you left, though, Mark asked you if you would be willing to try something new next time. You asked him what it was, and he said, “I want you to take my virginity.” You were shocked, but you agreed. The two of you decided to discuss exactly when at a later date, and you went back to your apartment.

Church went by the next morning without any major news or events, except for one thing. Mark was uncharacteristically awkward and shy around you. Since you had started dating, he had made a point to sit next to you, sometimes holding your hand during your father’s sermons. Today, however, he sat on the opposite side of the sanctuary from you, not even looking you in the eye when you greeted him upon arriving. You decided to ask him about his behavior after service.

When you finally found Mark, you asked him if he wanted to come back to your apartment. He reluctantly agreed, and you left. He followed in his truck, and when he entered your apartment, you asked him why he was so distant at church.

He sighed before answering, “I’m sorry about what I asked of you last night. It was too far, and I understand if you want to break things off or slow things down.”

“Baby, it’s ok. Any reaction that you saw last night was surprise. As long as it’s something you really want, I don’t mind at all. As long as you don’t mind the fact that I’m not a virgin.”

“I don’t mind at all. I love you. Thank you for being so patient with me.”

“I love you, too.”

The two of you spent the afternoon discussing when you would take Mark’s virginity. Your previous sexual encounters had never been planned in advance, but you wanted Mark to feel more at ease about his first time. In the end, the two of you decided to drive to an abandoned parking lot a few towns over, so no one would know what the two of you were skipping Bible study on Wednesday to do. You even came up with a lie about being invited by a friend to visit another church that you could tell your parents to explain your absence.

The idea of skipping church to lose his virginity should have disgusted Mark, but in actuality, it thrilled him. Maybe you had been a worse influence than he thought. He didn’t really care about that, though. All he knew was that he loved and trusted you, and he wanted to show you just how much he loved and trusted you.

When the day finally came, the two of you were filled with excitement. You went about most of your day as usual, but after you got done work, you drove to the abandoned parking lot that you’d told Mark about. He did the same, and the two of you settled into the bed of his truck. Bless him, he’d even covered it with blankets and pillows to make you more comfortable.

When Mark kissed you, you couldn’t help but tangle your hands in his hair. He groaned at the sensation, and it made you want him. To be fair, you always wanted him, but in the moment, he was all you could think about. If the way he kissed you was any indication, he needed you just as badly.

After a few minutes, you pulled away and started kissing Mark’s neck. He moaned again, and you only got more desperate for him. It wasn’t long before you couldn’t take it anymore, so you lifted your head and asked Mark if he still wanted to go further. He seemed nervous, but his excitement as he said yes made you feel better about the situation. He shyly explained that he didn’t really know what he was doing, and you promised to help him the entire time.

You started by unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his boxers down. Then you lifted your dress and removed your own underwear. After that, you settled into a comfortable position and instructed him to climb on top of you. He did exactly as he was told, and you helped him guide his cock into your pussy for the first time.

The moan that fell from Mark’s lips as he felt you for the first time was heavenly. You desperately wanted to hear more, but you still told him to wait before he moved so both of you could adjust. Again, he did exactly as you asked. It was honestly kind of adorable how eager he was to please you.

Once you were ready, you gently instructed Mark to move. He started to slowly thrust in and out trying to avoid overwhelming himself right away. He loved you, and he wanted to make this last. You couldn’t help but want the same, slightly overwhelmed already by the amount of love and care he was showing you. It may have been frustrating to wait so long to have sex with Mark, but the wait was worth it. This was infinitely better than the cheap hookups you’d had before.

After a few minutes, Mark started to thrust slightly faster. When he saw the way your tits bounced, it was difficult for him to control himself. Still, he kept a steady pace as he fucked into you. Sex with you was the most pleasure that he’d ever felt. Sure, he had jerked off a handful of times, though he was embarrassed to admit to that, but his hand could never compare to you.

It didn’t take long for Mark to feel an orgasm approaching, though he tried as hard as he could to last. He slowed down slightly once he felt it, but that did the opposite of what he wanted. Rather than putting off his orgasm, it only brought him closer to the brink. He hurriedly warned you that he was close and asked you what to do now. You said, “Cum inside me, baby. It’s ok.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Mark stilled inside you, moaning your name as he rode out his orgasm. Feeling Mark’s release triggered your own, and before you knew it you were clenching around his cock as you cried out in pleasure. He was still after you both came down from your highs, reveling in the closeness of the moment. The position had gotten uncomfortable, however, so you gently asked him to move.

Mark did as he was told, finding a sort-of clean towel in the back of his truck to wipe you and himself off with. You put your clothes back on and helped him to do the same. Then the two of you just held each other, saying nothing but knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time the two of you had sex in his truck when you were supposed to be in church. As he held you close, you couldn’t help but feel proud of the fact that you had helped Mark Lee loosen up and learn to have some fun.

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to see what else I've written so far and the rest of what's planned, you can find my Kinktober masterlist here. If you'd like to read one of my non-Kinktober works, you can find my general masterlist here. If you'd like to see what I'm going to be working on once Kinktober is over, you can find my upcoming works here. If none of that interests you, or there's something specific you'd like to see, send a request via asks or dms!

Thank you again for reading, happy spooky season!

#kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #kpop smut #non idol au #nct x reader #nct smut #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #mark lee smut

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97linelover · 5 months ago

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Ex on the Beach - Kim Mingyu

summary: Breaking up with Mingyu broke you, but what if you get asked if you want to join a Reality-show called "Ex on the Beach?"

content: no Idol Mingyu x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff,smut, drama

wc: 4.4 k

a/n: In Germany we have exactly this show, so I came up with this Idea.

1 - 2 - 3 Action.

You walked along the LED-lit path towards the beach, wearing your new Skims bikini and a pair of heels.

You had spent a lot of time practicing walking in those heels on sand to make it look decent now.

In front of you, you spotted three lounge chairs with three men on them.

The first thing you noticed was the black mop of hair belonging to your ex.

You couldn't smile when you saw him; the heartbreak was still too fresh.

"Hi, my name is Y/N, and I'm 26 years old. I was born and raised in Berlin, and seven years ago, I moved to Frankfurt, where I met Mingyu. We started dating when I was 19, and we broke up nearly a year ago," you said with a smile that wasn't entirely genuine.

The robotic voice then asked for the reason the two of you broke up.

"It just became too much. He always chose her. We were celebrating our anniversary, and she called? He left me sitting there. We would be in the middle of sex, and he answered the call and left," you laughed at that.

"I was okay with it at the beginning because she was his best friend, but when I organized a birthday party for him, and she completely monopolized him, I lost it. I took her aside and told her that Mingyu was my boyfriend, and she just laughed and said he would always choose her," you said, nibbling on your lip as the memories came flooding back.

"And when he started having movie nights with her and brought her along to meet-ups with his friends, I distanced myself. Until one night, I packed all my things and told Mingyu that I was moving out."

"Did Mingyu care about that?" the voice asked once again.

"I don't know. At first, he was completely flabbergasted, but then he just let it be and never texted me again," you said, blinking away tears. "So now I'm here to teach him a lesson."

"That's Y/N," Mingyu's voice was barely a whisper, and the other boys gasped. "Did you two break up on good terms?" he chuckled at that. "No, she just left, and I found out she had an affair." The boys looked at you.

"This girl? Crazy, dude."

As you walked towards them, you felt a weird sensation bubbling up, and Mingyu got up and walked towards you. "Hi," he said softly, his brown eyes watching you. "Hey, Mingyu," you said, walking past him and hugging the other boys.

"So you're not even going to greet me properly?" Mingyu scoffed, and you looked at him. "I said hey. What do you want? Should I jump on you?" your voice was laced with venom, and he sighed.

"Listen, we need to spend a lot of time together here, so please get a grip," he said with a smug grin. "Fuck you, Mingyu," you spat and walked behind the other two boys.

Mingyu could only roll his eyes at your outburst.

You walked into the villa with Mingyu close behind you, and the others looked at you, waving. You smiled and introduced yourself to all of them. They were all pretty nice and made sure to welcome you warmly. Without hesitation, Seungcheol guided you around.

He showed you all the places around the house. "And here's your sleeping place. Tonight, you have to choose your sleeping partner," he said, chuckling. "It's either me or Mingyu, I'm afraid." You groaned at that. "Well, let's see how the night ends."

The entire show basically consists of alcohol, making out, and sex.

You had a Mojito in your hand while talking to Angela, Jonas's ex-girlfriend. "And when I walked into his apartment, he was hovering over her, kissing along her neck. I let out a scream and stormed out the door," you gasped. "No way, that's messed up." You hugged her as she began to sob.

You reassured her that Men sometimes are just Idiots, that cruel things can happen.

That she is worth so much more.

"I loved him so much," she cried, and you tried to calm her down.

"Y/N, wanna go down to the pool?" Cheol walked towards you, and you looked at Angela. "It's alright, darling," she said, wiping the tears away.

You got up following him towards the Pool area.

The two of you sat down on the lounge chairs. "Mingyu is looking at me like he wants to kill me," Seungcheol chuckled, and you shrugged. "He has no right anymore. I can talk to whoever I want," you said, taking a sip of your drink.

"So, are you open to something new?" he asked with raised eyebrows, and you gulped. "You know, I thought I was, but seeing him here gives me these weird feelings. I'm still in love with him, but it's over," you tried to smile.

"I actually talked a lot with him the past few days, and he is still pretty much in love with you. He also told me that there's so much he wants to ask you..." Seungcheol noticed your tears and hugged you. "I don't feel ready," you whispered, and he nodded. "This show is a lot to handle, I agree, but maybe it will all work out in the end."

He kissed your head softly, and suddenly, you heard the slam of a door. When you looked up, Mingyu was nowhere to be found.

"I should look for him," you said apologetically, and Seungcheol nodded. You rushed towards the bedroom. "Mingyu?" you called, looking inside the room to find him sitting on the bed.

His shoulders were slumped, and his head hung low.

"Go away, Y/N," he said, his voice dull, and you gulped. "Mingyu, you knew what this show was about. Why are you acting like this?" He got up, looking at you. "Because after all those years, you just left, and now you're here acting like we never happened."

"So now I'm the villain? Are you kidding me? I left because I felt so wrong in this relationship, and you didn't even try to reach out. So why should I still care?" your voice was weak.

"I didn't call you because you fucking went out and acted like a slut, fucking different men," he spat, and you gasped, the liquid from your cocktail landing on his face.

You suddenly felt numb, so embarrassed.

"Never talk to me again," your voice cracked, and you rushed out.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you rushed past the others. "Y/N?" Angela's voice followed you as you sat down on one of the lounge chairs. "He called me a slut, Angi, how could he?" you sobbed.

"Why would he do that?" Angela took your hand for support. "I don't know. I never did anything. I loved him so much, I would've done anything for him." She hugged you tight and stroked your back.

"The two of you definitely need to talk. There's something wrong with everything," she whispered, and you agreed.

Mingyu calling you slut made you feel so bad, you could not stop shaking.

As the signal came that it was bedtime, everyone got ready for bed.

You only had two options: Mingyu or Seungcheol.

Just hearing his name made you crazy right now. There was no way you could lay down next to him.

So you climbed into the bed shared with Seungcheol and avoided Mingyu's gaze completely.

The next morning, you quickly got ready with a dip in the pool, and as you lay on the lounge chair, you felt someone next to you. "Y/N, we should talk," Mingyu's deep voice said, and you looked at him.

"I was clear yesterday, right? You called me a slut, Mingyu. This is a TV show; everyone can see this," you said, clearly frustrated and hurt.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but seeing you so close with Cheol brought back memories," he whispered, and you got up. "What memories are you even talking about, Mingyu? I don't get it."

The two of you walked to a quieter area. "After you left, I was fucking furious. I felt like someone had ripped my world apart. I wanted to run after you, but then I got some messages and pictures of you with another man," his voice got weaker. "You were fucking this guy, and there was a date. It was while we were dating," you let out a choked gasp. "No way!"

He looked down. "I felt like it was my fault, that I pushed you towards someone better," he took your hand. "I hope you realize that this is bullshit. Mingyu, I never had sex with someone else, not even in the year we split," you pleaded.

"I would never cheat on you, Mingyu. I was so fucking loyal to you, and I left because you were too blinded by Somi!" you raised your voice, and he gulped. "Every day, you went to her place and ditched me. She took every chance she could get, and I couldn’t watch you anymore."

Mingyu sighed, frustrated. "So our breakup was over Somi?"

"Yes! You're obsessed with her. It's crazy, Mingyu. I thought the two of you would have an affair."

"Somi never had a chance, Y/N. I love you. It's only you," he said, taking your hand and pulling you closer. "This year made me realize how much I love you," he stroked your cheek.

"You give me a kind of happiness no one else can," he said with tears in his eyes. "And I should've fought for you. I should've asked you if it was true, but it all made sense in my head."

He looked so sad that you pulled him in.

You melted into the kiss, your hands gripping his shoulders as he held you close. For a moment, everything else faded away—the cameras, the villa, the other contestants. It was just you and Mingyu, the connection between you rekindling with every passing second.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless. Mingyu rested his forehead against yours, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

“I never stopped loving you, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I was an idiot, and I let my insecurities and Somi get in the way. But I want to make things right. I want us to start over.”

You blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill over. The pain from the past year, the heartbreak, the anger—it was all still there. But so was the love you had for him. You had never stopped loving him either.

“I don’t know if it’s that simple, Gyu,” you admitted, your voice wavering. “So much has happened, and there’s a lot we need to work through. But I want to try, if you’re willing to put in the effort.”

He nodded earnestly, his hands squeezing yours. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Y/N. I’ll prove to you that I’m worth another chance.”

The two of you stood there for a while longer, just holding each other, as the sun began to dip below the horizon. The tension between you seemed to have eased, and for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful about your future with Mingyu.

Later that evening, as the group gathered for dinner, the atmosphere was noticeably lighter. Mingyu stayed close to you, his hand often finding yours under the table, offering silent reassurance.

Seungcheol gave you a knowing smile from across the table, and you returned it with a nod of gratitude. You could see that he genuinely wanted what was best for you, even if it meant stepping aside.

Angela, too, was supportive. She squeezed your hand when she had the chance and whispered, “I’m glad you two are talking things out. You deserve to be happy.”

As the night went on, the tension between you and Mingyu continued to thaw. You found yourself laughing at his jokes, and he was more attentive than ever, making sure you were comfortable and cared for.

Eventually, the group dispersed, heading to their respective rooms. When it was time for bed, you found yourself hesitating. The choice between Seungcheol and Mingyu was still there, but this time, it felt different.

Mingyu watched you, his expression open and hopeful. “I know we’re not back together yet, but… would you like to share a bed tonight? Just to talk, I mean.”

You considered his offer for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, but just to talk.”

He smiled, clearly relieved. “Just to talk.”

The two of you headed to the room, and as you settled into bed, you felt a strange sense of peace. There was still a long road ahead, and you weren’t sure where it would lead, but you were willing to walk it together, one step at a time.

Mingyu wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice filled with warmth.

“Goodnight, Gyu,” you replied, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to drift off, feeling safe and hopeful in his embrace.

The next two days were uneventful. You played games, danced, and slept. During this time, you and Mingyu grew even closer, often spending time together in the pool and frequently ending up making out.

For the party tonight, you wore a leather lingerie set paired with heels, while Mingyu sported tight shorts and a collar—a sight you never knew you needed. Mingyu was standing with some of the guys, talking about football, while you danced around with Angela and Larissa

“So, Y/N, will you and Mingyu date again, or is this just a fling?” Angela asked, taking a sip from her cup.

“I think we’re on the right path to start over,” you replied dreamily. “I loved Mingyu—I still do. We’re just a good match. I couldn’t let any other man get close to me, and I’ve always craved him.”

“Do you think another ex will show up?” Larissa asked.

“Hopefully not,” you replied with a slight blush. “As far as I know, I was his first and only girlfriend.”

“You two are so cute. I’m rooting for you,” Angela said, grinning widely.

Suddenly, you felt two arms wrap around you and soft kisses on your shoulder. “You two are disgustingly cute,” Angela joked, pretending to gag. You giggled, and Larissa muttered, “I need to get some dick right now,” before rushing off towards Josh.

You turned around to face Mingyu. “You look so good in this,” he whispered, kissing you.

“Mhm, you too,” you giggled, gently tugging on his collar.

“If we keep making out, I’m going to die of blue balls, baby,” he whispered in your ear, making you blush. You took his hand. “Let’s fix that.”

You both walked into the private suite and locked the door behind you. The hunger for each other was undeniable. Hovering over him, you kissed along his abs. “You’ve been working out a lot,” you murmured, pulling down his tight pants, revealing his hardened dick.

“Needed something to clear my head,” he groaned as you kissed his tip. “You drive me crazy,” he said, his hands tangling in your hair.

You quickened your pace, and deep moans escaped his lips as you worked your magic.

When Mingyu began pounding into you from behind, the sounds of your mixed moans filled the room. “God, I missed your pussy,” he groaned, and you let out breathless whimpers.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he praised, knowing it was your weakness. He pulled your hair, bending over you, slowly choking you from behind as you reached your high. You lost control completely, your entire body shaking. Shortly after, you felt Mingyu spurting his cum onto your back, both of you breathing heavily.

Mingyu cleaned you up and lay down next to you, whispering loving words until you both fell asleep.

“Y/N, please come to the news box, and Mingyu, you’ll need to go to the beach,” the robotic voice instructed. You looked at him, concerned. “Why the beach? Isn’t that just for ex-girlfriends?” Suddenly, Mingyu looked guilty, and you realized something. “Were you in a relationship after me?” He tried to explain, but he had to go to the beach, leaving you bitter as you walked into the interview room.

Inside, there was a small envelope.

’Y/N, It seems your Mingyu wasn’t entirely honest with you. She never stood a chance?’

You read the lines and gasped. What was that supposed to mean?

“Y/N!!” Angela screamed as you exited the room. You looked towards the stairs leading to the beach, and all the color drained from your face. “No, no, NO!” you said in desperation and panic.

Mingyu walked up the stairs with Somi by his side. They were talking, and Mingyu appeared angry, but you couldn’t register anything. Your ears were ringing like crazy.

“Y/N, breathe, okay?” Seungcheol rushed to your side, and you leaned against him. “He told me she never stood a chance,” you whispered. When Mingyu saw you, he rushed over.

But he did not get the chance to get closer.

“Mingyu, please introduce the new guest,” the robotic voice prompted. Mingyu sighed.

“Guys, this is Somi. We’ve been friends since I was thirteen, and we dated for two months,” he said, sounding ashamed.

“When?” was all you could ask.

“Baby,” he whispered.

“WHEN?” you screamed, and everyone gasped.

“One month after our breakup,” he admitted quietly. Tears stung your eyes. “Wow, you replaced me quicker than I thought” you let out a bitter laugh.

“Please, let me explain,” he pleaded, but you shook your head. “No, I don’t want to hear it,” you said, rushing into the room. You locked the door, trying to forget the pain.

Mingyu knew he had messed up. He hadn’t considered the possibility of Somi showing up. “Should we get a drink?” Somi asked, batting her eyelashes.

“Not in the mood right now,” he muttered, walking away.

As you stood in the bathroom applying skincare, Somi walked in. “Hi, Y/N, long time no see. How are you?” she asked with a fake smile. You rolled your eyes.

“Save your fake kindness, Somi,” you spat, and she laughed.

“Oh, poor pathetic Y/N. I always told you he wanted me. He chose me after the breakup. He believed me. All those nights he thought you cheated, but it was just a really good edit,” she said, flicking her hair.

“Mingyu is mine, Y/N, and everything shows it. In those two months, he fucked me so good. He even told me I’m the best he ever had,” she taunted. You stared at her, speechless. “And you know what? A week before this show, we hooked up in your old bed,” she smirked.

You pushed past her. “Aren’t you ashamed? This show will be seen by everyone, and you say such things? It’s disgusting and cheap. If he wants yo, fine. At least I’m not a manipulative hoe.”

You slammed the door shut and started packing your suitcase. You changed into biker shorts and a large shirt, grabbed your things, and rushed downstairs where the others were gathered. Mingyu was sitting by the water.

His Shoulders slumped and his head hanging low, like he was ashamed of all this.

“Y/N, what are you doing with your suitcase?” Seungcheol asked, and Mingyu quickly came over. “What’s going on?” he asked, panicking.

“I’m leaving. I thought I could handle this, but it’s not my world. I’m grateful for this experience, especially for you, Cheol, and you, Angi,” you said with tears in your eyes. “But it just hurts too much to find out the person you loved for seven years replaced you with someone he told you not to worry about.” You looked at Mingyu. “This was the final straw.”

Angi let out a sob and you hugged her softly.

“Let me take this,” Cheol said, taking the suitcase and your bag.

“It’s better this way. You don’t deserve this,” Angi said, hugging you tightly. Mingyu could only hold your hand. “Please, let’s talk. I should have told you,” he sobbed.

“Let go,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N,” he pleaded.

You shrugged. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have dated her—the woman who never stood a chance,” you said bitterly. “Goodbye, Mingyu.”

And with that, your journey on “Ex on the Beach” was over.

Two days later, you were back at your father’s small restaurant, helping out on a busy night. Two waitresses had called in sick, so you came directly from the airport to assist, jet lag and all.

You felt tired and your limbs were hurting.

“Two Caesar salads for table two,” you called out before going to greet the next customer. As you looked into familiar brown eyes, you felt like screaming. “Mingyu? How? What about the show?” you stammered.

“I left after you did. I really meant it when I said I love you. Yes, I dated Somi, but there was barely even a kiss. I couldn’t. I never touched her because I only wanted you. I ended it with her because I couldn’t give her what she wanted,” he rambled, catching you completely off guard.

“But she told me you two had sex and that you wanted her,” you said, confused.

“No, I couldn’t. You’re the one I want,” he said sincerely, and you smiled slightly.

“I’d really like to kiss you, but you know what?” you giggled. “Get an apron from the back and help me out here.”

“Of course,” Mingyu rushed to the back, where you could see your dad hugging him tightly. They had always been close—Mingyu was like part of your family. When the two of you broke up, your family couldn’t believe it.

The two of you used to help your dad out a lot back in your school days.

After the shift ended, you were happy to grab your things. “Can I drive you home?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded. “I think we should talk,” you said, saying goodbye to your dad and following Mingyu.

The ride home wasn’t awkward at all. Both of you were just happy to have some peace at the moment. You unlocked the door, and Mingyu followed you inside. “Your apartment is really pretty. It feels so homey,” he said, looking around.

"I really tried to make it feel like home. I loved our old apartment so much that finding a new one was incredibly difficult,” you confessed, your voice tinged with the emotions you had been holding back for so long. Your eyes fell to the floor, unable to meet his gaze as the memories of what you had lost resurfaced.

Mingyu leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he listened intently. “I never moved out,” he admitted softly, his voice filled with the weight of his own regrets. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Every day, I hoped that one day you’d come back, and we could try again.” He looked up at you, his eyes reflecting a deep vulnerability that you hadn’t seen in years.

“Did you date Somi because of me?” The question slipped out before you could stop it, your need for understanding outweighing your fear of the answer. The thought of him with someone else had gnawed at you ever since she showed up.

Mingyu sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It wasn’t because of you, Y/N,” he began, his voice steady but laced with guilt. “After you left, I was lost. When Somi came around, I thought I could move on, that maybe it was time to let go. But I couldn’t. After everything she said on the show, I felt sick to my stomach. She played me—none of it was true. Like I said, we never had sex. I never even wanted to. Every time I was with her, all I could think about was you.”

His words hung in the air, a mixture of pain and sincerity that made your heart ache. You could see how much he regretted his actions, how much he wished he could take it all back. But the hurt was still fresh, the wound still raw.

“I don’t know if I can just forget everything,” you said quietly, your voice trembling as you tried to keep your emotions in check. “We’ve just found each other again, and then this happened. It’s like… I’m afraid to trust you.”

Mingyu reached out and gently took your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing motion. “I understand, Y/N. I know I messed up, and I’m so sorry. But I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right, to rebuild the trust we lost. Just… please, don’t give up on us.”

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit but finding only genuine remorse and the deep love you knew he still held for you. Despite the hurt, despite the betrayal, you couldn’t deny that a part of you still loved him too—loved him enough to want to try again.

“Let’s talk,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper, your heart heavy with the weight of your decision. “But first… let’s have that kiss.”

Mingyu’s eyes softened, relief flooding through him as he leaned in slowly, as if afraid you might change your mind. But you didn’t. You met him halfway, your lips finding his in a tender kiss that spoke of all the unspoken words between you—words of regret, forgiveness, and the hope for a second chance.

The kiss was everything you had missed and more. It was familiar yet new, filled with the promise of a fresh start. When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads resting against each other as you savored the moment.

“I’m not letting you go again,” Mingyu whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks.

You smiled softly, feeling a warmth spread through you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Me neither,” you whispered back, your heart finally beginning to heal.

The two of you sat there for a moment longer, just holding each other, letting the silence speak for you. It wasn’t going to be easy; you both knew that. But for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful. You were ready to face whatever challenges life would bring, together.

„The production team just let you go?“ you asked while taking a bite off your toasted waffle.

„They agreed that you actually were my perfect match and they said this gave the show some drama“ he chuckled.

„Well I can happily let the drama go, I don’t need it“ you admitted laughing.

„No more drama, no more ex on the beach“

And so, their journey on “Ex on the Beach” came full circle, leading them back to where they truly belonged—wrapped in each other’s arms, ready to rebuild the love they had once lost and face the future with newfound strength.

#seventeen #kpop #seventeen angst #svt #gyu #au #mingyu #mingyu imagines #smut #mingyu x reader

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